I haven't noticed much of a difference myself in how Google handles them
Officially there's no difference in indexing. But a 410 definitely makes the googlebot stop crawling a lot sooner. (This is anecdotal in the sense that I'm looking at their behavior on my own sites. But there's no reason to think google would treat me differently from everyone else on the planet ;))
Is it safe to redirect 404 errors to custom 404 page using .htaccess?
Not if you mean "redirect" in the strict sense, because then all your 404s turn into 302s. But yes, you can absolutely have a custom 404 page. The wording is
ErrorDocument 404 /missing.html
ErrorDocument 410 /gone.html
et cetera. Do not repeat not include protocol-plus-domain in the filename, because that's what turns it into a redirect.
If you like, you can use the same physical document for both 404 and 410. Most of the time, human visitors don't care whether the page used to exist or not; all that matters is it isn't there now. Do make sure to have a custom 410 page for humans, because the apache default is intimidating.
Note also that you can have different error documents for specific directories; you'll just need a supplemental htaccess. This might be a good approach if your forums were in a separate directory and you've deleted the entire contents of the directory. If you do this you will of course have to keep the directory, even if it now contains nothing except an .htaccess file and a 410 page.