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I might have some ideas, weasel, but first send me the URL via Sticky Mail (top of the page) - so I can be sure never to visit that site ;)
Either that, or tell us why you want to overrule your visitor's wishes with such a heavy hand.
To top it all off, I set up the page to refresh automatically every 10 minutes to reflect any changes I made, and as a result during my experiments some of the terminals ended up with 15 or 20 browser windows open by the end of the shift.. :)