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The 'project' starts tomorrow. We will move furniture... and then paint... just paint, you know? This means holding a brush or a roll and just paint all day.
This is my idea of what Hell could be.
Any idea or trick for helping a non painter to survive painting all week end?
How many fingers should I break to look credible?
Getting out of it:
Tip #1: cover everything with plastic sheets - including the dog.
Tip #2: don't cover the dog if you want to get out of painting - paint the dog
Tip #3: use lots of paint and leave the brushes where they can dry and get all gummed up while you go potty (I didn't just say that did I?).
Grinning and bearing it:
Tip #1: Put on a headset and grab the roller before she gets it.
Tip #2: If you don't get to the roller first that means you'll do the cut work (painting along the edges of the items that shouldn't be painted like door casings, heaters, light switches, etc..). Tape the edges ahead of time - it'll save you.
Tip #3: Put the dog out while you paint.
lorax, she is a GFX designer. I am sure got the roll jobs assigned already. But I hate both cutting or rolling.
The dog is smart, he already ran away for a bit.
Help!
Any pill pusher can help me here?
[edited by: Macguru at 12:40 am (utc) on Oct. 23, 2004]
Does this mean I am not essentially female? Hrmmm.
Well, back on topic. How about you just tell your better half that you're really sorry, but painting is NOT a thing you do well. Tell her you'll hire a painter, and instead of you doing a piss-poor job, she'll get a really NICE job, AND she can go pick out *insert whatever she's been drooling over here* on Monday next.
Then you explain that you'd love to help but you find painting a bit dull, and you'd like some music to help pass the time. Crank up the volume (if you've got speakers) or plug in the headphones (if it's a Walkman)... and sing. Badly. Loudly. Joyfully! Perhaps dance a bit along with the movements of the roller, and don't forget to loose concentration a bit and splatter the paint around.
You'll probably be sent out to do some other, less boring tasks within the first half-hour.
I have already tried for weeks to reason her, V.
I know I am late, but I just need a quick fix to face my destiny...
encyclo could be a good shrink.
He suggested ways to avoid listening to her 2 days in a row...
The plot thickens
[edited by: Macguru at 12:56 am (utc) on Oct. 23, 2004]
Where's she coming from on this? (Um. In case you failed to note this, TOMORROW is the weekend. That's not just "late"....)
If that is by-the-by then the point is that you're making a home together and your partner has elected you (did you vote?), nay, trusts you, to be the 'nest-builder'.
If you're not up to it, and can't live up to your better-half's expectations, then both pay for decorators to to it properly.
MacGuru, in my local I have Master Decorators that have done such as Buckingham Palace, Jimmy Choo's home in London, and way beyond... (no lie)...I'll give you their Tel number (at a finders fee...;-)
Either that or your suckered...
Syzygy
Start drinking early? Like a Guinness or so with breakfast? And continue.... if you manage a bright enough "glow", it won't hurt so bad. Until tomorrow.
Only other possibility: since you love her, simply cowboy up....
I don't harbor "territory marking" genes either, so no help here...do you get to wear a little paper painter's hat?
LisaB
vkaryl was thinking beer too! LOL
She is a GFX designer...
A)female
B)artist
C)my life's partner
D)redhair with freckles
E)11 years younger
F)always smilling and joking
G)always repeating...
...Sorry for "G", I already mentionned "A"
>>simply cowboy up....
You mean, frequent breaks?
That could do it...
;)
>>it seems to me that beer may be in order.
I am out of here!
There are worse things. Really. I'm not going into detail, but there are.
Remember that you love her, and she loves you. Remember that you are happy in the home you've made together. Pretend that paint is NOT the end of the world - and it's not.
Get a good night's sleep. And have a Guinness with breakfast.
[AND check in, dammit! If you fall off a ladder and break your neck, I will NOT be pleased.... especially if we don't kow WHAT happened....]
Hey that will flush my usuall oatmeal bowl well.
>>If you fall off a ladder and break your neck
I dont live in a cathedral. No worry about falls here.
>>Hasty retreats are out. It's too obvious.
Right.
>>You have to coopt her into believing it's better for her to have you sit this one out.
You mean simulating sharp chest pains again?
>>I don't suppose you're alergic to latex?
I shave with napalm... ;)
Do you think having a conversation with her while doing the job can help? Or is it risky?
Not quite the obvious my good man. More along the lines of helping her realize that this is a job for a true artist who has that special eye for color and texture and who has the softest of touches as to render exquisite brush strokes. Certainly a neanderthal such as you should not be allowed to disturb the tranquility that only she can create.
Lay it on thick man.
>> napalm.
ROFLMAO.
Hey you could stay up late, late tonight and then fall asleep face first into the paint... just a thought.
G'nite and g'luck. :)
I meant, is there any risk she will try to pass some adjustments to the original redecoration plan during this conversation?
Um. I can't believe you even had to ask that! (Which is why I didn't quite get what you meant....)
OF COURSE there is. I say again, you are in DEEP yogurt. (I want you to know I really cleaned that up too....)