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Here are some facts :
If you where in similar situation, what would you do?
:)
Am I in trouble?
Oh yeah.
My advice is to watch your spending for a while, as redecorating can be expensive.
Since she is unlikely to want to do anything to the home that you will absolutely hate, you will, of course, give her whatever she wants. She is worth it and it's important to her.
I hope you own sufficient power tools.
Personally, I would play the spy, but keep the "conversation" going through the subtle messages, depending on what your priorities are. For example:
- Open the magazines, check out where the post-it notes are, then move the post-its either to pages with similar, but cheaper, items to those she had chosen, or to pages with something in really horrendous taste (there are always pages like that in all the decoration magazines)
- Buy, say, a cycling magazine and put post-its on a page with some outrageously-priced kit
- Grab a copy of "La Simplicité volontaire, plus que jamais" by Serge Mongeau, and place a load of post-its in each chapter, and furious highlighting across great swathes of the text...
Encyclo - you are a true pro.
Other options:-
1. Photoshop yourself a doctors certificate detailing your incurable allergies to paint, dust and drill bits. Leave it in a jacket pocket (we all know she'll look).
2. Just buy her a really expensive gift and be done with it.
TJ
Such items could include:
- Favorite chair
- Fishing photos, sports posters, anything wall-hanging
- Beer bottle, sitting coaster-less on an endtable that's so shot that no one bother with coasters
- favorite t-shirts and jerseys (yes, after the apartment, YOU'RE NEXT)
Since she already knows you have an emotional attachment to your belongings (e.g. naming your bicycle - great reference!) I'd play that angle. Start telling stories about that fishing trip, or all the people who sat in that chair, or how that Winger t-shirt saved democracy.
She may have left the magazines there deliberately so that you would see them, assume that you would start planning your defence and thereby getting you thinking about interior decoration so much that you'll eventually just cave without her saying a word. Subliminal advertising.
Saturday morning, you may just find yourself standing in Ikea, wondering just how the hell you got there.
Encyclo - you are a true pro
No, it's just that I'm married!
Since she is unlikely to want to do anything to the home that you will absolutely hate, you will, of course, give her whatever she wants. She is worth it and it's important to her.
Good display of solidarity, Lilliabeth.
I hope you own sufficient power tools.
Yeah, that is the second fold of the problem. I am a handy man. I will be "naturally" assigned to it.
encyclo
then move the post-its either to pages...
Buy, say, a cycling magazine...
Grab a copy of "La Simplicité volontaire, plus que jamais"...
No, it's just that I'm married!
encyclo, you are a very professional husband.
trillianjedi
Encyclo - you are a true pro.
I fully agree! This can be a lot of fun. Plus, it will prolong negociations.
Just buy her a really expensive gift and be done with it.
So she ends up with both the expensive gift and the interior redocorations extravaganza, trillianjedi?
sherwoodseo
Is she your live-in girlfriend? I would start planning your defenses.
Yes, with her 2 teenaged daughters. This maybe a plot. :)
emotional attachment to your belongings (e.g. naming your bicycle - great reference!) I'd play that angle.
Almost all of my belongings are intrenched in the garage already. They already invaded the rest of the house, exept my wokshop in the basement. I called it Alamo. :)
sem4u
I'm more worried that you have a name for your bicycle
sherwoodseo
and what a name. Don Quichotte's horse
It's all Troels's fault.
[webmasterworld.com...]
edit_g
Have you considered that she might be baiting you?
There is no doubt about it. The question here is how and when to bite at it.
So far, encyclo seems to have the best approach at it. He is a higly qualified husband. :)
My husband and I did this when we bought our house. He got the basement to do with whatever he liked in his manly bad taste, I got the rest of the house. Seems a bit lopsided, granted, but how many women would let a man decorate any part of their house by painting a 5'x10' mural from his favorite obscure comic book, Star Trek Xmas lights, two ratty, but (he insists) comfortable recliners, plus about a half dozen other things that make me cringe.
Define your space now, before she defines it for you.
Almost all of my belongings are intrenched in the garage already. They already invaded the rest of the house, exept my wokshop in the basement. I called it Alamo. :)
Ah, the warning sirens are really sounding with that comment, along with the fact that your girlfriend doesn't use the garage in the summer. She could be building up to a garage or basement conversion. To arms, comrade, and defend your territory from the marauding invaders!
No, it's just that I'm married!
And the difference is?
So she ends up with both the expensive gift and the interior redocorations extravaganza
Not if you spend all your money on the expensive gift (and borrow more also while you're about it).
Heck, it may bankrupt you, but at least you won't have to buy a tool belt.
TJ
Or maybe you secretly want a toolbelt?
Play dumb until she brings those mags in bed
That would be my vote. Then just tell her not to touch the garage or basement, and leave her to it.
Almost all of my belongings are intrenched in the garage already. They already invaded the rest of the house, exept my wokshop in the basement. I called it Alamo. :)
One: you appear to be in denial ...
Two: you have already lost the living space ...
Three: so ... is she likely to redecorate the garage and/or basement?
Four: Your knowledge of history ... is it accurate? Shall we remember you fondly each year gradually enhancing the mythos of Macguru going down swinging his hammer under an onslaught of pink and lace?
Five: Ah poor Macguru I knew him when ...
Six: It was hopeless you know ... one woman ... two teenage daughters ... a man in love ... think of the anguish of knowing the pod people are making you over in their image ...
sob ... sob ...
Nice skirt btw. :)
In 1995, I decided I wanted to buy a Harley. Exact conversation follows:
Me: I think I'm gonna buy a Harley. We can get some leathers and hang out with the weekend bikers at Cabo Wabo (in Sandy Springs, GA). What do you think?
Girlfriend*: Sure, sounds good.
Before I bought the bike, girlfriend became pregnant. I had no insurance to cover pregnancy and had to pay out of my own pocket. I forgot about the Harley.
Fast forward 9 years. Was talking to my neighbor across the street who has a Harley. He got me fired up about getting a bike. Went inside to talk to wife. The exact conversation follows:
Me: I was just talking to Lloyd . . .
Wife*: You're not getting a motorcycle.
*Girlfriend and Wife are one and the same.
I have learnt so much from this thread :)
Fabric samples left carelessly lying about? The TV showing an "accidentally-recorded" program about decoration (you know, she presses play and says "oh no, I wanted to record the Olympic three-man synchronised water-polo event, but hey this program's quite interesting anyway!")
Did you try any of the delaying tactics, or have you already signed away your soul to Ikea?
One: you appear to be in denial ...
[6]NO![/6]
encyclo
OK, it's 8.30am, so Macguru should be at work again.
I get to work late after a rough night...
When I got back home yesterday night, I planned to play the spy and have a look at those mags. They where no longuer in the car. I entered "my" invaded home, she was reading them in the living room. She had a notepad with sketches (she is a GFX designer) and notes. After a quick dinner and a shower, I decided to play straight and confront my destiny.
She liked the way I opened negociations.
Macguru - Before you parked you car in my garage with those mags on the driver's seat, how many hints did I miss about your project?
Her - (counting on her fingers with an evil smile) This year?
Macguru - So now it's time for my briefing, right? Ok, I am listening.
I learned she would pay for everything, but had no idea on how much it's going to cost.
Another good thing is her project(s) are reasonable and will look very good at the end.
The main part is the washroom. It was renovated during the 70' and has one of those uncomfortable square baths. I have to strip everything, enlarge the room 6' wider, put a larger window and rebuild it. She has 3 sketches for the bathroom, all with terra cotta tiles and an 'antique' white claw foot bathtub. Some walls will be in knotty pine and others in terra cotta. I like it.
The best part is she is not in a hurry, she wants to start next spring.
So, I capitulated in those terms.
Overall, I think I'm lucky.
I am still in doubt about one thing. Could it be only, phase 1?
um, you should rephrase that too DAMN lucky! ;)
I learned she would pay for everything
Cool! Of course, as the old saying goes, time is money. What's your hourly rate for the renovation work again?
;)
Actually, it seems that you're a pretty good negociator - it's only the bathroom (for the moment - as you say, this is surely only Phase 1), and she's picking up the tab. You agreed unconditionally to all her demands, of course, but that's how the dynamics work in a couple!
Actually, it seems that you're a pretty good negociator
I didn't have to negociate much, really. She had a pretty good package in hand. I saw no reason to negociate except for the dead line. She admits we need a little more planning before we start and also understands it's better to enlarge a window when it's not minus 30 outside.
Now I have to make sure I get a year break before Phase II. :)
Now I have to make sure I get a year break before Phase II.
..... too late macguru, toooooo late, ha ha haaaaaa .....
..... Shane
Nice skirt btw. :)
Thanks pmac, I will return it to you soon.
Shane
toooooo late, ha ha haaaaaa .....
I get this strange feeling you are right. Is there some kind of trigger womens in early 30, to just do start doing that, or age has nothing to do with it?
