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I tried both
But am pleased with the short one, it did even triggered some answers without any forwarding.
When I said, “short” I mean short is not only the major factor in the concept
What really had an impact (in my case) was that I stated that I purposely kept it short and direct to the point
You may isolate a potential target and mention where you found it.
For example review a Chamber of Commerce membership.
Do your work in doing researches on each member that seems not to have a website.
Then mention how you found it
Just be very straightforward
Forget heavy use of phone and mail and try to setup an appointment
The toughest part is to have a foot in the door