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Your favorite customer quote...

     
9:36 pm on Dec 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I got this from one my customers today:

"Hey, I got the blue widget cable today but the blue widget I bought [from someone else] around the same time is still in the mail."

:)

5:08 am on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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We offer three types of shipping wit in the USA, Ground, 2nd Business Day, and Next Business Day Air.

This has happened numerous times, but just today again.

Customer placed order at 9:33pm Dec 8th. He wrote us an e-mail tonight (Dec 9th) because he was mad that his order was not on his front porch when he got home.

I have to go now and manage the traffic in the parking lot cause the UPS trucks coming and going 15 minutes has caused a traffic jam. LOL

8:21 am on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Ledfish, You're talking about what must be my least favorite customer type. There's always a few, especially at this time of year. What drives me absolutely nuts is that, in addition to processing and shipping times, we handcraft our products to order! We ship within days and our practices are made very clear throughout the site - including right with the shipping options. There's always that one idiot with the nerve to accuse us because my site "gave the impression that it would ship immediately when the order was placed".
I can't seem to find ANY physical product site which manages that last. Where do they get these ideas?
9:30 am on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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"Thats a nice plant youve got in the window....what do you feed it with?"

While I was working in a travel agency.

9:38 am on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Hi

I am in the car related industry and we had a Lady ask

"Do you sell Hands?"

I said I'm sorry but I dont know what you mean, she says

"I am after some replacement Hands for my Handbrake?"

Bizarre :)

1:02 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Sunshyn

And then they make the proverbial "Are you legitimate" comment, you know the one that makes reference to running some type of scam.

I have always wanted to reply back with "Yes and you are one gullable idiot, would you also like to buy a bridge?"

5:47 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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In reply to the above, I used to own a holiday real estate company and prospective buyers would visit us and we would give a presentation on the area they were interested in.

I cant count the number of times people would leave us saying quite loudly ' this is an international con'.

Or on my site it clearly states shipping to the USA 5 -10 days, morons email mae wanting to know why their oreder isnt there on tehsecond day 'you did charge me $24 for shipping as well' DOH!

Love 'em all.

6:00 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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We give free technical support for our products, so someone emailed us: "Can I have some of the free technical support?"
6:37 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I have a site that is a industry specific cart style site and accidently had the order notification e-mail set up to reply to me, not my clients.

I got this reply from someone's unhappy customer:

"This order will be canceled, you are not in the widget business, you are in the shipping business."

That's it, no names, order numbers or anything. It hit me about 10 min. later what he was complaining about. It struck me as pretty funny. (I just bounced it back.)

7:14 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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From an American: "What's the funny "L" in front of your price?"

I didn't have the heart to explain to him that we don't use dollars in the UK so I told him our website was broken.

7:28 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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LOL! You are too kind! You should have let the person have it about being so geocentric.
7:46 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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"if you ship it to me by **** day I will send you a box of chocolate"
8:19 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I had a woman email me and complain she had a problem ordering thorugh PayPal because she had just moved. In her email she mentioned no less than four times that if I didn't help her immediately she was going to go to my competitor. So, I wrote to her and said:

Normally in this situation I tell people I will just ship them the product anyway and ask that they send me a check. But your attitude sucks. So try someone else.

She wrote back and apologized.

9:08 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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OK, this guys just hung up 2 minutes ago and we're still laughing over it. He's all upset cuz his competitor is #1,2 in Google and he's #3.

He wanted to know if he paid us,"could we just copy and paste his competitor's entire site onto his site?"Great stuff. And then right before he hangs up, I'm not making this up, he says "I think he knows I'm on to him..."

9:56 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Oh their on to him alright, I hope he looks under the bed before he gets in it tonight.....
10:09 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Oh their on to him alright, I hope he looks under the bed before he gets in it tonight.....

Maybe they hired homeless people to follow him home from work.

10:09 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I was taking an order from a guy, taking down the address, blah blas street, redcar.

I said is that one or two r's, he said two...paused....one at the beginning and one at the end.

I can't remember if it was he or I that giggled first but it took another 30mins just to take his postcode and CC number, we were both crying with laughter.

I suppose you had to be there but just thinking about it gets me laughing.

10:22 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I said is that one or two r's, he said two...paused....one at the beginning and one at the end.

That really wasn't all that funny :\

10:23 pm on Dec 10, 2003 (gmt 0)

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You had to be there.
8:57 pm on Dec 11, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Hey I thought it was. Made me laff
10:25 pm on Dec 11, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Running primarily informational only sites brings out the nuts, too.

You have no idea how often I get emails from people about...

* "What should I feed the [lizard/bird/baby deer/snake/you-name-it-I've-heard-it] I just 'rescued'"? How the hell should I know, I just happen to have a photo of a [lizard/bird/deer...etc.] posted on one of my sites!

* "Your [city/park/hotel/tourist attraction] sucks. I'm never coming back." -- that's fine, since I don't own or run the city/park/hotel/tourist attraction you're referring to... hell, I don't own ANY!

* "Here's all my personal contact info. Please send me all your brochures and information." -- Uhm, no, since all "my" information is posted on my websites already. I'm just a citizen like you.

6:35 am on Dec 12, 2003 (gmt 0)

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You had to be there.

I think even if I WAS there, I wouldn't have laughed.

6:56 am on Dec 12, 2003 (gmt 0)

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To get back to the original question, my favorite customer quote is along the lines of thanking me for providing a quality product, on demand, and with excellent customer support, if needed.

In a way it's sad people are so used to be treated badly that it's worth taking the time to say thank you when things go well.

If I get just one e-mail like that nothing, absolutely nothing can ruin the rest of my day. Even close friends notice something different about me and ask if I got another one of those types of e-mails today, LOL.

Now to drift slightly off topic ;), I hate it when I get daily e-mails asking about the price and availability of an after-market automotive widget whose company name matches my business domain name exactly. Why won't the company make me a reasonable offer for the domain, gain some extra business, and make my life a little more peaceful! :)

12:09 am on Dec 13, 2003 (gmt 0)

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My favorite quote has been:

"You have the cutest styles of 'widgets' that I have ever seen!"

A good product makes all the difference in the world.

5:31 am on Dec 13, 2003 (gmt 0)

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NFFC, can you send me some of whatever that guy was ordering. Sounds like a blast- he he he he!

8:42 am on Dec 13, 2003 (gmt 0)

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GAryK why dont you stock those automotivewidgets, sounds like you have the demand.
7:26 pm on Dec 15, 2003 (gmt 0)

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My new favorite from today.

"I couldn't figure out how to use my Amazon gift certificate"

Came from a customer who found us through an Adword on Amazon. She then calls us and thinks we are Amazon.

7:37 pm on Dec 15, 2003 (gmt 0)

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>NFFC, can you send me some of whatever that guy was ordering

Only if you are not overseas.

We are UK based and ship only in the UK, we get a few orders from the US however. We send a polite email "Sorry etc but we are unable to ship overseas".

One guy wouldn't leave it at that, he insisted he was not overseas.

We sent him a map, UK - Atlantic - USA, complete with arrows and making special note of the fact that there was sea between us and him, hence he was overseas.

The only way we could get him to stop was to agree with his view that it was WE that were overseas and not HIM.

7:39 pm on Dec 15, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I also got a good one just today: Our tech support email address is tech_support@...

Well, one tech person asked a customer to email the above address. He got a phone call back from the customer saying that the email didn't work cause underscore wasn't spelled properly!

8:14 pm on Dec 15, 2003 (gmt 0)

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saying that the email didn't work cause underscore wasn't spelled properly

Kinda like complaints that the keyboard is faulty because it doesn't have an "any" key.

8:27 pm on Dec 15, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Last week I received a very long and painful email written by a lady who got ripped off by the Don Lapre scam. I happen to have an article on my site describing how I lost a few hundred bucks (back when I was younger and dumber), and I guess she didn't read the article at all.

She started by saying she spend $7800 (!) and never made any money. She didn't blame the salespeople but she wanted her money back now. Immediately. It was her kids savings or something like that.

I wrote her back, pointing out that my article was a bit scathing about that "service" and I would love to help ... but I didn't know how to get my money back, much less hers.

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