Its Friday: Your Favorite One Liner

[caine]

'I am going to go and Lark with Intent'

heard it for the first time today - excellant - says so much.

[lawman]

I is a college graduate.

Been my favorite since I saw it on a bumper sticker in the mid '80s.

lawman

[georgeek]

A one line business maxim I used to often repeat before entering a clients' meeting, put a smile on my face and reminded me what not to do.

"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room."

I think it was one of Winston Churchill's.

[limbo]

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Nick_W]

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk and fall over. No problem.

Nick

[Ivana]

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you

- Kurt Cobain

[Goober]

It is better to remain silent and appear ignorant, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Goober

<shh, not speaking>

[lgn]

Apathy and denial are two of the best qualities
in lowering stress.

[Terrier]

To H*ll with poverty, fry the canary.

[trillianjedi]

Search engine optimisation is the curse of the drinking classes.

TJ

[Nick_W]

Stress is what happens when the mind overrules the bodies natural desire to kick the living crap out of some A'hole that desperately deserves it.

Nick

[too much information]

My alltime favorite, works well for most situations:

You can't pollish a t*rd.

My latest runner up to the favorite:

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Just got that one in an e-mail. :)

[Sanenet]

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

and

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

[mivox]

"It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society."
-- J. Krishnamurti

Brilliant, that one.

(I can't post most of my other faves, considering the no religion/politics rule... heheheh)

[edited by: mivox at 1:01 pm (utc) on Oct. 10, 2003]

[ytswy]

"I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning."

Churchill, I think.

[ukgimp]

I feel sorry for the man who does not drink for when he wakes up in te morning that is the best he is going to feel all day

Frank Sinatra

[mivox]

Ah, that reminds me:
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day"
-- Frank Sinatra

<added>Great minds think alike... but some are quicker on the 'submit' button than others.</added>

[edited by: mivox at 1:05 pm (utc) on Oct. 10, 2003]

[killroy]

"Time is like a drug. Too much of it kills you."

;)

SN

[ukgimp]

mivox how weird.

I wondered what the hell was going on then :)

[Sinner_G]

"Life is like a Ferrari. It looks beautiful from the outside but is very uncomfortable and much too fast."

Garfield

[SMXwebcrawler]

Work is the curse of the drinking classes

[mfishy]

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Hemingway

[SMXwebcrawler]

"Life is a lemon and I want my money back."

Meatloaf..!

[martinibuster]

"You won't get what you deserve- You are what you take."

-Andrew Eldritch, Sisters of Mercy

[glengara]

About a Starlet - "She was the original good time that was had by all"

Ms. Parker

[cazgh]

"Alcohol is the answer....but I can't remember the question"

[mat]

... was it not Dorothy Parker (or was it Zsa Zsa Gabor - doesn't matter, anyway) who said about Philip Roth something along the lines of 'Interesting man ... wouldn't like to shake his hand.'

[Edited to add]

... and another great one from Ms Parker:

"She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B" talking about Katharine Hepburn.

[edited by: mat at 2:57 pm (utc) on Oct. 10, 2003]

[Nick_W]

I'm not as thunk as drinkle peep I am.

~my Grandad

Nick

[caine]

Take it easy and if its easy take it twice!

[bcolflesh]

"Only sick music makes money today."
- Friedrich Nietzsche