I hate Freakin’ Mayonnaise

[ukgimp]

A simple task like buying sandwiches becomes my eternal nightmare. All but one of around 200 sandwiches had flaming mayonnaise on them. The other day I was pleased to see a sandwich that was called “simply chicken”. Fantastic I thought, but out of suspicion I checked the ingredients only to discover that “simply chicken” contains mayonnaise with black pepper. I wrote to the makers and pointed out my problem and their misleading packaging. I got a full apology, £5 and a promise that it would be passed onto their branding dept.

Add to that monkeys at restaurants who successfully omit the mayonnaise only to add coleslaw, which if I am not mistaken is made with f’in mayonnaise.

Anyhow, I don’t expect you to care or for this post to make it onto the front page on WebmasterWorld I just wanted to complain to the world at large

[edited by: ukgimp at 10:24 am (utc) on Aug. 7, 2003]

[edit_g]

Mayo is beautiful! Also the mustard/mayo mix spreads. Mmmmmm... I could quite possibly have it on everything - but not the British stuff - Mayo (and milk, chocolate, yoghurt et all) taste much, much better in Scandinavia - especially Norway.

[pixel_juice]

I just found a great site for us ukgimp - the worldwide mayo haters club [nomayo.com]!

Here is a fantastic quote from the homepage:

"Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients."

-- Ed Abbey, "The Fool's Progress"

I rest my case ;)

[edited by: pixel_juice at 11:07 am (utc) on Aug. 7, 2003]

[creative craig]

Mayo is beautiful!

I feel the same :)

[digitalghost]

I'm a member of the mayonnaise fan club. Why oh why would mayonnaise have to be invented to cover up the taste of anything when mustard was around? You know, mustard? That yellow or yellow brown stuff that covers up the taste of everything it comes in contact with...

The debate in my house centers around mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Not sure what Miracle Whip is really, but it isn't mayonnaise, more like sweetened yack in a jar.

Then there's catsup, another sickeningly sweet condiment that overrides the flavor of whatever it is added to...

[richardb]

Aw folks you've made me hungry... ...going for some chips with mayo and sweet chile sauce.

[le_gber]

Hi, just got to say something since I'm a frenchman in EnglanD.

Mayonaise in England is NOT GOOD! That's a FACT.

English Mayo makes me sick (no kidding, what do you put in these?), so I've got friends back home that send me parcels with french mayonaise every now and then.

The thing is mayo is a heavy thing on the stomack so eating some by this weather is garantee to make you feel unwell.

Hence the hawaian guy who created the IHateMayo website is the equivalent of creating I hate fish and chips website by somebody living in Japan. How do you know the tast of the real think if all you've got is a PALE copy modified to please the different 'taste' of another culture/country.

Well I'm off to get some real Mayo with my thuna and eggs salad.

Leo

[mivox]

The debate in my house centers around mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Not sure what Miracle Whip is really, but it isn't mayonnaise, more like sweetened yack in a jar.

Miracle Whip is -- I'm fairly certain -- the work of the devil. Mayonnaise, OTOH, is a gift from heaven. Now, if the Brits can't make decent mayonnaise, that's another story entirely... but mayo on chips/fries, on egg sandwiches, or any other sandwich for that matter, hamburgers, mayo-horseradish dip for sausages, etc., etc., mmmmmmmmm.

Yep, mayo is a good thing. Just ask my arteries! ;)

[msr986]

I'm sorry but if it isn't "Helmann's" or "Best Foods" I won't touch it (yuck). Mivox may have hit the nail on the head, after all, mayo is not mayo.

[nancyb]

I used to be a devout lover of mayo. Then, one day, I read that covering your hair with mayo and a plastic cap was good to repair damaged hair. Since I had recently over done it with hair products and my hair was no longer silky, I thought, yeah this should work.

Well, first off, it didn't!, but the worst part is, now I cannot stand the smell of the wonderful white stuff and a turkey sandwich on toast without mayo is dull and I miss those "after Thanksgiving and Christmas" delights.

[jatar_k]

mmm miracle whip
but i love cheez whiz too

I only eat mayonnaise on a very few select things though. They try to put it on everything.

I hate when you ask a waitress "whats on the burger" and they list off a bunch of crap. I usually respond with "none of that junk". The burger then arrives with mayonnaise or some other horrendously vile condiment.

umm, didn't i ask what was on the burger? umm, didn't i say plain? At what time did the mayonnaise you slopped on there become part of the patty?

now mustard, there's a condiment you can love.