three men walk into a bar.

[lucy24]

OK, so call it Saturday Funnies.

A while back, I had occasion to re-listen to the Drunken Scotsman,* as one does. Someone in the comments section had kindly and thoughtfully contributed this story:

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub, and each order a pint of Guinness. By one of those tragic coincidences, three flies have also entered the pub, and each falls into one of the mugs and drowns.
The Englishman makes a disgusted face and orders a fresh pint.
The Scotsman fishes out the fly and drinks his beer.
The Irishman holds the fly above his mug, shakes it vigorously and finally shouts Spit it out, you b--d **, spit it out!

I've seen stories on this pattern before, but this time I found myself wondering: Why is there never a Welshman? Is he simply so rapt in weeping into his beer, he doesn't even notice the fly?


* Oh, you know the one. “Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been / But I see you won first prize.”
** I honestly did not consider the possibility that this word would get eeped.

[Sgt_Kickaxe]

Three lords walk into a tavern, a Stark, a Martell and a Lannister. They order ale, but then the barkeep brings them over, each of them finds a fly in his cup. The Lannister, outraged, shoves the cup aside and demands another. The Martell plucks the fly out and swallows it whole. The Stark reaches into his cup, pulls out the fly and shouts: ‘Spit it out, you wee s—! Spit it out!

It's in Game of Thrones, the episode was called 'no one'.

Missandei and Grey Worm didn't get it, and the fans didn't recognize it from the lore, Still, Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman jokes are great.

Did you know that the first one mentioned represents the locale the joke is told it? If it starts off with "an Englishman" the joke is typically being told in England. If it starts off "A Scotsman" the joke is typically being told in Scotland and whatever the last nationality mentioned is typically the most hated by the first nation, the joke is on them.

There are jokes with a Welshman, but only when a 4th person is needed to tell the joke. Also, many countries have adapted the 'entering a bar' jokes and each substitutes their own countrymen. In Canada, the jokes add "Newfie", slang for Newfoundlander. Pay attention to the 3rd man in the joke, they tend to be rivals and the joke is at their expense.

This goes back a very long time and originated in the UK.

[tangor]

Variations of the same joke go back centuries ... Romans, Greeks, Goths, etc.

Odd thing is, it's still funny!

[ronin]

Why is there never a Welshman?

Good question.

It's for the same reason there isn't a Cornishman. (Or, for that matter, a Yorkshireman, a Geordie etc.)

Welsh national identity and language may be properly established today - rather than simply being a regional, cultural curiosity - but that's been greatly helped by Cardiff's hosting of a Welsh Assembly (and now Parliament) for the last quarter-century.

There was no representative legislative body for a unified Welsh people in a unified Wales for over half a millennium from 1405 to 1999.

A few centuries even earlier - before 1055 - there was no unified Wales at all.

As recently as thirty years ago (though less so, now), Cornwall might have been viewed by many as a slightly more idiosyncratic (than normal) region of England with (apparently) its own language, though almost no-one speaks it.

For centuries after Henry VIII (ie. 16th, 17th, 18th century), Wales wasn't far from that.

Wales definitely is accepted as a national region today, though Cornwall isn't.

There are a good handful of other regions across Europe considered national regions by some and rejected as such by others:

- Silesia (is it Czech or Polish or Silesian?)
- Ruthenia (is it Ukrainian or Ruthenian?)
- Scania (is it Danish or Swedish or Scanian?)
- Ladinia (is it Italian or Ladin?)

[lucy24]

"Newfie", slang for Newfoundlander

When you say that, smile.

though almost no-one speaks it

Cornish represents an early case of “salvage linguistics”. It last native speaker died in, I think, the mid-18th century; a century later it was brought back. Fortunately it had existed, in a small way, as a written language.

[Sgt_Kickaxe]

A Scot, an Englishman and a Welsman walk into a bar. Their is a lantern at their table with a sign that says "give it a rub fer luck". The Scot obliges and a genie pops out and grants them one wish each.

The Scot says: “I am a sheep herder, like my dad before me. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms.”

Whoosh, and so it was.

The Englishman was amazed and says: “I want a wall around England to keep those darned Scots and Welsh out.”

Bang, there was a wall around England.

The Welshman says: “Tell me more about this wall.”

The genie says: “It’s 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.”

The Welshman says: “Fill it with beer.”