My favorite quote.

What's yours?

[macrost]

"As a man, I had no choice. I took off my shoe and beat him to death. Each time my non-marking vulcanized rubber outsole struck his rapidly softening melon, I growled through clenched teeth the name of a different Kurt Russell character that deserved respect."

[yokelrobin]

"You want us to do WHAT?"
- ancient Chinese wall builder

[giggle]

Not my favourite, but a great put-down:

"If you had two brains you'd be twice as stupid"

[Crazy_Fool]

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand"
Homer Simpson to a very downhearted Lisa Simpson

[lgn]

Ever considered donating your brain to science
as a neutrino detector.

[rcjordan]

"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking real money."

attributed to Sen. E. Dirksen back in the 60's when a billion was more than pocketchange for the government.

[hannamyluv]

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

- E. Dickinson

I always like the idea that it didn't matter if you died in vain as long as you didn't live in vain.

[Fiver]

"You are what you do in order to prevent becoming what you're busy not doing, and if you do do it truly and you arrive at it duly, then in the end you are absolved, and the problem of living is solved." -Ani Difranco

[Vampyre]

"Oh Boy, Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!" - Ralph Wiggum

"Carnies built this country. The carnival part of it anyways." - Homer J. Simpson

[lorax]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure of the former."

-- Albert Einstien

"If you're going through hell, keep going. "

-- Winston Churchill

"Apathy is a dominant gene. Mutate."

-- unknown

[edited by: lorax at 10:09 pm (utc) on Mar. 19, 2003]

[macrost]

Wow! I didn't realize that this many people would reply to this post. Here is one that will make you think.

~"Imagination is more important than knowledge" ~Albert Einstein

[Go2]

"It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things"

- Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince, 1513

A little comfort for all us hard working entrepeneurs trying to market new ideas and challenge the major players...

[Robert Charlton]

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is." -- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

[duckhunter]

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

- Nursing Home Resident

[graywolf]

"anyone who sees a psychiatrist should have his head examined."
Sam Goldwyn of Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM)

[Robino]

"Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute,
and it seems like an hour. THAT'S relativity."
(Albert Einstein)

[PFOnline]

Some quick good ones:

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen?

Our biggest problem is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything—but don't quote me on that.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Remember, smoking doesn't kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

I intend to live forever—so far, so good.

Beer: Makes you see double. Makes you feel single.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

We should all help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy.

How does Avon find so many women willing to take orders?

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

A hospital bed is like a parked taxi with the meter running.

Don't take life so seriously. It's not permanent.

[pleeker]

Two favorites:

Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

and

Smell the flowers while you can.

m2

[Skylo]

"Only two things I hate most in this world and 1 is people who are intolerant of other peoples culture and 2.....the Dutch"- Austin Powers Dad (Sorry to Dutch members)

Posted before somewhere: "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"- Oscar Wilde

[engine]

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

[shanz]

Heavy, adj.:
Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.

Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
-- W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"

[shanz]

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain.

[Requnix]

Klingons do not "pursue relationships." They conquer that which they desire.

- Worf (Startrek DS9)

[photon]

Another one form Albert Einstein--

Symbolic representation of quantative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor importance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.

[werty]

"ones and zeros do not a society make"

[creative craig]

It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen :)

Homer J simpson

[OntheEdge]

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

Hang up and drive.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Keep honking while I reload.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive

Then there's the all time office favorite:
It's hard to soar with the eagles when you scratch with the turkeys.

[lorax]

>> Keep honking while I reload.

:) I was wondering when I'd see this one.

[DaveN]

Monkey see, Monkey do

If it's not broken, break it

Double your pleasure. Double your fun.

DaveN

<added>

monkey press button, Monkey get banana

</added>

[OntheEdge]

monkey press button, Monkey get banana

That wouldn't be a red button, would it? :0

[miles]

A lawman said this in a dark alley.

"We have a problem here. This gun holds 6 rounds but I only count four of you. That means a couple of you boys are going to have to die twice."