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Top Ten Telephone Torments

Go ahead, let it all out...

     
3:30 pm on May 1, 2007 (gmt 0)

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1. I'm asked what my phone number is. The person on the other end repeats each sequence of numbers as I'm saying them.

For example...

I say 714, they immediately cut in and say 714.
I say 555, they immediately cut in and say 555.
I say 1212, they immediately cut in and say 1212.

Let me finish telling you the number in whole first! Then you can repeat it back to me.

7:38 pm on May 3, 2007 (gmt 0)

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When you are dealing with these two companies, you are better to start off your response with a string of curse words right away.

lol! That's too much.

Caller: $*#@! $*#@! $*#@! $*#@! $*#@!

Automated System: We understand your frustration and will connect you with an Operator right away, one moment please...

And here I was spending 10 minutes going through menus before I find out it is the star (*) key that gets me a live operator. :)

10:18 pm on May 3, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Spoke to Dell a few days ago about a return. After things were resolved the Indian girl asked me to stand by for her boss, no reason given.

Put on hold...
.. waiting....
... waiting...
..... waiting...

Five minutes later boss answers and wants to survey me about how their customer service was.

Blew My Stack!

2:19 am on May 4, 2007 (gmt 0)

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After five minutes on hold...

"So, what seems to be the problem, sir?"

"Well it's difficult. Such and such has happened."

"Oh, okay. You just need to do this."

"Ah, no - that's the entire problem. I can't do this, because this and this has happened as well."

Lengthy explanation follows. Numerous questions and answers while I clarify the complexity of the situation.

"Okay, can I take down all your details"

I give all my details.

"Right, and do you have one of these?"

"No, otherwise I wouldn't be ringing you."

"In that case, sir, I have to transfer you."

"Yes, yes, fine, transfer me. Just please, please can you explain the scenario to your colleague, before you pass me over? Thanks."

[Click]

Muzak for five minutes.

"Hello, sir! What seems to be the problem?"

3:54 am on May 4, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Ring, ring! (Huff, puff, run to phone)

Hello, [company name], this is Automan...

Is this [company name]?

Yes.

May I please speak to Automan?

SLAM!

5:58 am on May 4, 2007 (gmt 0)

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My troubles with telemarketers finished some months ago.
Everytime I receive a call asking for Mr.Me/The person in charge of telecommunication/Do you have an DSL connection? I always give them the same response: "Yes, sure, he will talk with you in a while" and then I let the phone ever the table and follow my life.
6:41 am on May 4, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Telemarketers who call you from their own phone with the recorded sound of a busy office in the background -I normally say that I am happy to speak to them if they turn the tape off -works wonders.
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