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How not to ask for a link

A few easy tips based on an email I just received

     
4:40 pm on Feb 4, 2008 (gmt 0)

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1. Don't mention anything nice about the person's site you are writing to. Keep the focus only on your site and how important your site is.

2. Mention repeatedly how important your low ranked, unknown site is and that the person you are writing to with an established, popular site "needs" to know about it. Don't use phrases like "you may find it of interest to know about my site" or "we seem to share a common interest" - those words are too polite and might actually get a response. Be sure to use terms like "you need to", especially when corresponding with a total stranger.

3. Address your email to "whom it may concern" even if the person's name you are sending your link request/demand to is in the title of his or her site, on the home page and listed again on the contact page. Remember your site is the important one, so it doesn't matter if you show an interest in the other person's name or web site.

4. Don't offer to link to the other person's site even if it is on the same topic as your site. Just repeatedly mention how important your information is and how linking to your site will help spread the word about this important topic. Ignore the fact that the publisher you are writing to already is spreading the word on this important topic.

5. Don't use words like please or thank you. If you use polite terms like that and the person you are writing to may actually respond to your email.

6. Repeatedly namedrop every important person you know related to the topic of your site. This shows how important you and your gray bar site with no links really must be. Make it seem like you are doing the link request recipient a favor by even taking time out of your busy schedule hobnobbing with important people to send him or her unsolicited spam email.

7. Don't bother to proof read your email and be sure to include spelling and grammatical errors.

12:12 pm on Feb 10, 2008 (gmt 0)

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51. Offer to pay $5 for the link, but only if the webmaster retains that link for at least a year. Most sites will jump at the chance to profit from such a generous offer.
10:14 pm on Feb 10, 2008 (gmt 0)

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52. Personalize your request with a mis-spelled name ie:
Dear, JNAE DOE
3:25 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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53. Be sure to not include any free offers, products, articles, or services that may be of use to the other person in return for doing business with you.

54. Always sound like you are begging and pleading.

55. Everyone loves guilt trips.

56. Completely forget to include your name and your business.

3:31 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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Does link exchange has anything to do with the quality and usefulness (as well as trafffic)of your site. I wonder!
4:03 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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[off topic]Links to Quality Sites can only increase the value of your site to visitors; work on tha basis that if they have to leave (and they all do eventually), they'll think better of you if you've given them a quality, related-topic site to go to.

And Google thinks that way too. ;)[/off topic]

8:21 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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57. When all above is finished, notify the world of the fact that you only link to the best of the best and keep total integrity when choosing what sites you will recommend for your visitors.
58. (Two weeks later). Notify sites that due to overwhelming demand you will have to place priority on reviewing those for quality who have already linked to you.
10:50 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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59. Find out who the highest level person is at that company (preferably the CEO) and send THEM the link request, because obviously that is the person who does all the web maintenance.

60. Request a reciprocal link for a site that sells the exact same thing that you do.

10:53 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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Conversly, I love it when the person you kindly email to request a link exchange replies with a canned message about their advertising rates and why their site is much better than yours.... oh, and make sure the price is not even remotely close to, say, Adwords -- where I know I can place my ads on same person site for less than a nickel.
11:48 pm on Feb 11, 2008 (gmt 0)

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41b. Make sure not to use your own email address from the domain you are trying to attract links to, but write from <satyamurty@very-best-super-seo.biz> and sign your letter with "Tanja" or "Karen" or "Mary".

Doh!

9:35 am on Feb 12, 2008 (gmt 0)

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"The informations on your page gave me many good thoughts and days"
7:38 pm on Feb 12, 2008 (gmt 0)

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61. "SEO for THE COMPETITION - You may not have noticed my site, it's ranked 8th in google for '[your keyword phrase]'. Your site's ranked #1. Link to my site. It will improve both of our rankings."
9:46 pm on Feb 13, 2008 (gmt 0)

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62. Make sure to always APOLOGISE for wasting the time of the recipient. You probably are.
2:04 pm on Feb 18, 2008 (gmt 0)

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I actually had a guy calling me from my WHOIS information to beg for a link. After including the link, he actually called again 'to be friends'. These people really scare me to death.

Lesson learnt: protect your whois.

This 43 message thread spans 2 pages: 43