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I was wondering if there was some way to affect which parts are loaded first or if there was any way for the whole website to load before its viewed... and if thats even a good idea ?
There are many things you can do speed up the page's rendering, starting with the easy ones like optimizing your images and making sure they are ideally compressed.
There is a Google Page Speed tool that offers a lot of help, as well as a Yahoo tool called Y!Slow. You can learn more about them here: The Need For Speed [webmasterworld.com]
I'm happy to see you focused on this issue. Page speed has long been an under-appreciated asset by many sites. It can be your secret weapon in growing an audience.
All you do is, say in photoshop when you're going to save your image you click "Save for web(which is down the list from 'save')" and mess with the settings, lowering the colors and dithering. Which will make the image less quality but faster to load.
Hope this helped.