Any Tips on How to Write a Ransom Note?

[Learning Curve]

I'm have a bit of trouble getting the ransom note to read coherently. I tried to get it to read "right" last month but the results weren't what I expected. Any tips would be appreciated.

[gmoney]

I’ve been trying to work on improving some pathetic ransom notes myself. I found some information about this in the Google Knowledge Base [webmasterworld.com].

Q: [Serps] How can I change the excerpt shown under my pet keywords?
A: By using the pet keyword phrase higher on the page. You can atleast control the first part of the excerpt that way. It also helps to use the keyword or phrase in bold and italic.

Q: [Serps] How do I get Google to display readable site descriptions when I perform a search?
A: You can't. Currently, Google displays whatever it wants based upon page content and the search. The Google search results have been called, the Google Ransom Note Results since they read like a ransom note out of a bad movie.

From some of the threads I have read on this topic it seems that Google has recently made some changes to the way they determine the ransom note. The title containing search query terms seems to be an important ingredient.

Anyway, I would think there would be a way to get at least some control in the ransom note for a given page and a given search query. It would seem like a manageable task to decipher Googles method if the inputs were simply the web page content and search query and the output was the ransom note. I imagine it has nothing to do with pagerank, links to the page, or competition. So compared to the complicated Google rankings algorithm this should be a piece of cake.

I think I figured out the ransom note for my post:

gmoney trying . . . pathetic ransom notes . . . can't control ransom note . . . google displays whatever it wants . . . you can’t eat cake . . . google is smarter that you . . . google wants you to suffer

[Learning Curve]

LOL! You made my day. And thanks for the great tip about the Google Knowledge Base.

[gmoney]

I had a dream that I created a Google ransom note generator. With this fictitious tool one could plug in the url and search query and out would pop a Google ransom note (or at least a good approximation of one). Webmasters could test out new pages before Google spidered them and then tweek the content until a respectable ransom note was generated. In my dream, every SEO website linked to my great tool and my PR toolbar went green. Please sticky mail me if anyone knows of, finds, or makes a tool like this.

[ciml]

Nice dream, gmoney. It doesn't sound very difficult to do.

[miles]

Learning Curve you have got to have something of precieved value for a ransom. Get photos of there top level excutives or find one of their techs who is on sick leave or whatever and say you will never see them again. Dont use news paper the ink and paper can be tracked. Instead use the html code or the new fantangled programming language google is using to send the ransom note, from a "friends computer." Let us know how it goes.

<edit>Disclaimer I am not a ransom specialist nor do I advocate it. No flames, just having fun.</edit>

[gmoney]

ciml, that is what I keep telling myself. Unfortunately, I am not a wiz-bang programmer that sets a stopwatch before I set out on a programming mission. I have to use a month(s) calendar to track my progress.

Perhaps you can use your pull with Webmaster World to start up a “Google ransom note generator contest”. The winner could get a nice PR link from Webmaster World. They could also get a mediocre PR link from my site and probably many others. Actually, I bet some of the crew at Webmaster World and Search Engine World could build your own ransom note generator in a couple of days.