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The Circle Game - A classic observation of life song

Life when you're the son who is 20 and your father is 50 reprised

         

Webwork

10:28 pm on Dec 29, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I'm now 50. My son is now 20. My father is 81. My son and I don't quite see eye to eye right now. Funny how that goes and how certain songs that appealed to me when I was 20, and my father was 50, now touch me again - differently but the same - when I'm now 50 and my son 20. I think I always knew it would be this way some day:

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you’re older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind from where we came
And go round and round and round in the circle game.

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him, take your time, it won’t be long now
'till you drag your feet to slow the circles down

And the seasons they go round and round . .

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There’ll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.

And the seasons they go round and round . .Joni Mitchell

I forget, is it "Teach your children well" or "Teach your parents well" and with that, is the following line "parent's hell" or "children's hell"?

Both, are right, right?

Dang! Ya know, you live long enough . . .

I knew there was more to that C,S& N song!

Syzygy

12:23 am on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Actually, Webwork, I had you down as being much, much, older than that - for you sure are the most miserable of old fogey's most of the time.

I forget, is it "Teach your children well" or "Teach your parents well" and with that, is the following line "parent's hell" or "children's hell"?

This Christmas, at age 40, I've found that the parental roles have been reversed - I'm now one of the 'parents'; I'm not sure why things should be this way but they are. And I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet...

"When I was seventeen, it was a very good year..."

Syzygy

Webwork

4:07 am on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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most miserable of old fogey's most of the time

Due to my relative youth "old fart" is the proper reference.

grandpa

5:03 am on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Both, are right, right?
Right.

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
...
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,

Both followed with..
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

I haven't observed the same thing with my 20 something daughter, but the 'kids' I have working here smack of myself some 30 years ago. I'm still trying hard not to be my father. It's a lot of fun being a crazy old ba$^@4%, encouraging them to do the things I would do if I had another chance at 20.

BeeDeeDubbleU

7:54 am on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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One of the truest statements I ever heard was supposed to have come from a guy who when he was 20 years old could not believe how stupid his dad was. When he was 30 he could not believe how much his dad had learned in the previous ten years ;o)

BTW I am 57 and I have a happily married son of 33 who is coming for dinner today with his wife and my two grandsons and this could very much apply to us.

Leosghost

8:01 am on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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The input of another old fart ( self ..same age as webwork ) on the subject ..;)

This song .."Cats in the cradle" by Harry Chapin "

"A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

( the rest you either know or can use a search engine for ..google brings up all the lyrics at the #1 slot using the song title as search )

my son is just 12 years old ..12 years = one blink of dad's eye

and I could and did choose to work from home to avoid the song's syndrome.

even so it all goes by so fast

4css

7:36 pm on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Syzygy, Webwork is definatly not
the most miserable of old fogey's most of the time

He is kind, giving and considerate, and going through a good deal of things.

Jeff, privatly I have said what I had to say, so won't go into much here except to say, Hang on my friend. Life does get better with all of this.

Just remember the words of wisdom you gave to me when my daughter left last year, seeking her independance admist a severe arguement.

I never envisioned her doing this as we were so close. IT took a while to develope this again, but we are better then we were before.

Your son one day, as stated previously, will know how intelligent, and how wise you are. Just hang tight.

You are one person whom I am very proud to call friend, and one day, your son will be more proud to call you dad ;)

rocknbil

7:42 pm on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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One of the truest statements I ever heard was supposed to have come from a guy who when he was 20 years old could not believe how stupid his dad was. When he was 30 he could not believe how much his dad had learned in the previous ten years ;o)

That is paraphrased from a quote by Mark Twain. :-D

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned."

Also let's not forget Father and Son by Cat Stevens.

kevinpate

8:17 pm on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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This weekend marks an interesting experience of my own.

As I lay my head to rest this eve, I will have two teens and a pre-teen. Before I awake, I shall have 3 teens. Then before I awake Monday, the household shifts slightly once again to two teens and one post-teen.

Through the years, I have strived to perfect the role of Poppa, and have apparently succeeded. Any of the three will gladly opine I frequently appear to know very little and have apaprently forgotten most of what I may have known at some previous time. :)

I'd bother to correct them, but it's just so embarassing when I canna recall their names :O

Webwork

8:39 pm on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Ummm, 4CSS, nice of you to say but I'm kinda more comfortable in my old fart clothing. Kinda lowers people's expectations. Heaven forbid people expect me to behave as you have so kindly stated. :0)

FWIW, nothing going on here that likely hasn't gone on in at least half the households in the world, as kids move from teens to adulthood.

There's a reason why so many songs are written about the transitions in life. If they were easy who'd write songs about them?

Sing it again Joni!

"For the seasons they go round and round . . ."

4css

8:42 pm on Dec 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Did I happen to mention that Webwork can be extremly funny when he wishes to be ;)

Old fart clothing, ha ha ha ha!

Just think, new year, new dreams, new wishes.

Happy New Year to all, and may it be a safe one as well as a prosperous one.

hannamyluv

9:49 pm on Dec 31, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Aww, Webwork, you went and made me cry.

Mine are still so little and I can even now hardly remember what it was like to hold them as tiny babies. Now, you went and made me think that someday I won't even be able to hardly remember how good it feels to hold them on my lap.

*sigh* so here we go with one more year.

Essex_boy

10:06 am on Jan 1, 2006 (gmt 0)

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Its a strange world indeed with shifting values and expectations, seems to me that the world rotates and a another shift of 'yoof' appears on the scene with out us knowing or even realising.

That is until you see them standing on street corners looking menacing and you feel nervy, its then and only then are you aware of the passing of time. And you know, Its a strange feeling.

Im in an odd situation having gone back to uni in my mid 30's seeing just how other 18 year olds attitudes have changed. When I was their age I used to raise (harmless) hell on campus. Once betting a mate wouldnt run naked through Cambridge back to his college. Which he did.

None of the students I meet now seem to think this is vaguely funny - at the time it was the talk of the JCR.

Their all way to serious for my liking. Can I turn back the clock?

diggle

10:26 am on Jan 1, 2006 (gmt 0)

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"Mine are still so little and I can even now hardly remember what it was like to hold them as tiny babies. Now, you went and made me think that someday I won't even be able to hardly remember how good it feels to hold them on my lap."

But when they're 20 and a foot taller than you, you will know how good it is when they give you a big hug and tell you that they love you.

4css

12:38 pm on Jan 1, 2006 (gmt 0)

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I have 5 children ranging from 24-12.

I can still remember holding them on my lap, nursing them, stroking their faces. You never lose that feeling or that memory. I can see their faces I stared at them for so long.

My oldest is a marine, in country two times. Last time he went I flew to California to see him off. I would never fly before. But a mom knows when her child needs her. she can hear it in their voice.

I can still see his smile as he left me at the hotel for the last time before he left.

My brave Marine son, strong, yet fearful. He wouldn't let you know of any fears, as that is how they are.

He emailed me recently and told me that memories of me holdign him and loving him is what got him through all the tough times of boot camp and both tours over seas.

Never doubt for a moment that your children won't remember you holding them, or you won't remember it. It is embedded into your heart and soul.

I still remember each of them as they were handed to me the second they were born.

The song I remember is, Turn around and you are two, turn around and you are four, Turn around and you are a young man walking out of the door.

There is also a version for girls. I have both versions. I danced with my daughter at her wedding with this song.

Our minds and souls are the best scrap books that we have. No fire can destroy them, now floods can carry them away.

So for those with young ones worried about not remembeing, You will. It is part of your soul.

Just value each second, each question, each thougth process that they have to offer to you. That is the best advice I can give to younger parents.

Be a parent first, and friend last. As they grow, start to ease on them, let them make decisions (I start this process at the age of 16) This is about when you start the friend process, IMO.

Let them know that you are still their parent, and will correct if need be. Give them trust, let them know they have it fully, but if you catch them in a lie when you have trusted them, then THEY will have to work to build it up again.

With all of this, I have 5 beautiful children I would not trade for life itself. They are my life. And I am their confidont, (sp?) as they know they can talk to me and it wont' go to anyone else.

Ok, that is my ramble, ;) and just my two cents.

martinibuster

10:16 pm on Jan 1, 2006 (gmt 0)

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Couldn't help but be reminded of this poem that was set to music by Current 93, off their album "Earth Covers Earth":

Like to the falling of a Starre;
Or as the flights of Eagles are;
Or like the fresh springs morning dew;
Or like a wind that chafes the flood;
Or bubbles which on water stood;
Even such is man, whose borrow'd light
Is straight call'd in, and paid to night.

The Wind blowes out; the Bubble dies;
The Spring entomb'd in Autumn lies;
The Dew dries up; the Starre is shot;
The Flight is past; and Man forgot.

Henry King (1592 - 1669)

ken_b

10:38 pm on Jan 1, 2006 (gmt 0)

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Hmmm.... I'm a bit troubled by all this self-appointed old-fartdom coming from younger folks.

Just what does that make us who are their elders?

Personally I've spent my life aspiring to reach "cranky old man" status and now that I find myself on the very cusp of succeeding some young whippersnapper tries to cut in line. grrrr....

4css

2:54 am on Jan 2, 2006 (gmt 0)

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roflmbo@ken_b!