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Bullet to the head

Drowning in chemical soup

     

ronin

5:08 pm on Dec 14, 2005 (gmt 0)

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At approximately 12:45 EET last Friday, I appear to have fallen in love.

Not only that, but I didn't even see what the girl looked like when it started to happen. Just the back of her head. (She'd just walked into the room and sat down). I glanced over my shoulder and found it took an immense amount of willpower just to turn back to my desk and refocus on my work.

Less than a minute later after she called me across to help her with some work we were sitting next to each other, our faces milimetres apart, her hand on the mouse, my hand resting on top of hers, guiding her.

When I mentioned that I was leaving the city in fifteen minutes and possibly never to return, she simply said: "but you are coming back tomorrow?" to which, since we both knew it anyway, I could only reply: "Yes."

We saw each other Saturday evening, Sunday lunch and Sunday evening, before I flew back to London. Everything has been effortless. We both know deep down that we have been waiting for each other. In 72 hours we didn't even kiss once, but there was, in any case, no need to.

Every time I take a step it feels like I'm two feet above the ground. This makes everything else I've ever experienced pale into insignificance.

arran

5:18 pm on Dec 14, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



In 72 hours we didn't even kiss once, but there was, in any case, no need to.

I love it.

Get ready for the rollercoaster...

akmac

11:10 pm on Dec 14, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I thought that only happened in the Spring...?

Congratulations =-)

jchance

11:18 pm on Dec 14, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I remember that feeling... Then I got married.

limbo

9:53 am on Dec 15, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



You have renewed my faith. Great to hear such a feeling is possible.

Essex_boy

10:09 am on Dec 15, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member essex_boy is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member



I had that feeling once - take laxatives itll work out fine

rocknbil

7:29 pm on Dec 15, 2005 (gmt 0)

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We both know deep down that we have been waiting for each other.

Precisely!

I had been married for 19 years, divorced, and was single with no intention of getting raked over the relationship coals ever again - and in walked this redheaded fireplug that I'd known all my life, even though we'd never met.

Congrats, when you know, you know.

lawman

7:54 pm on Dec 15, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator lawman is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



uh-oh!

ronin

11:19 pm on Dec 17, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Essex_boy> LOL >;->

I found this short paper:

http://www.ship.edu/~cgboeree/genpsylove.html [ship.edu]

Much of it describes so much of what I'm feeling with uncanny precision.

I'm not made for this. I'm struggling to maintain my usual level of negativity.

lawman

12:01 am on Dec 18, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator lawman is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



You can't analyze, assess, and digitize love by researching it on the internet. It's emotional and thus, I ask you the same question a wise man once asked me when I told him about the most perfect woman who had come into my life.

He said, "have you ever seen her when she's mad?"

mack

12:12 am on Dec 18, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator mack is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Dude you cant even attempt to work this out in any logical way. Only you can possible know how you feel and only you know what is the right thing to do. You now need to decide what to do next.

Mack.

ronin

10:57 am on Dec 18, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Your comments appreciated >;-> I'm not trying to analyse it or work it out so much as trying to get to grips with something I've never encountered before. Phenomenological descriptions reassure me that this is something real and experienced by others, rather than something I'm imagining. (I do have a fairly wild imagination sometimes).

As for working out what I'm doing next... I'm flying out to the Eastern Mediterranean again at the end of January. In the meantime we're in touch mostly by SMS and email.

I'm taking things slowly. It's pretty clear that we're both a little cautious and still sizing each other up.

I'm reasonably practiced at starting relationships. But feeling like this, it's easy to forget everything I ever learned.

There has to be, I know, the chance in each of our minds that the other will walk away, otherwise it's game over.

Essex_boy

1:49 pm on Dec 18, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member essex_boy is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member



Ok ill confess! I did once, while a student see a girl in a pub I was in, I stopped mid sentance and walked over to buy her a drink - I REALLY thought I would marry her.

No really I did, if I was away from her for more than a day id get fidgetty, I know exactly how you feel.

Its just that im a real cynic, 100%, tend to distrust people and their motives now.

webnerd

7:52 am on Dec 19, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I appear to have fallen in love.

Out of curiousity why do people when they began to love someone they refer to it as a fallen condition?
It almost as if they believed that they were at a higher plain in life before love entered the picture.

fall (COME DOWN)
verb [I] fell, fallen
1. to come down onto the ground or from a high position to a lower position:

ronin

11:24 am on Dec 19, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



It almost as if... they were at a higher plain (sic) in life before love entered the picture.

Yes, I was, certainly.

Before Friday 9th, I could think straight and I could walk properly.

Now I have the mental acuity and concentration span of a moron and my co-ordination skills have gone out the window.

jessejump

3:38 pm on Dec 19, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



>>>>> It almost as if they believed that they were at a higher plain in life before love entered the picture.
fall (COME DOWN)
verb [I] fell, fallen

Too technical, too semantic; its a figure of speech

Shane

4:58 pm on Dec 19, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Good one Lawman

He said, "have you ever seen her when she's mad?"

Very good. ROFLMAO

..... Shane

Leosghost

10:43 am on Dec 20, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member leosghost is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



there is also .."take a look at her Ma"

Dinosaurs are not the only species who had a smaller brain in their pelvic region which could control some functions of their life ..

In any "situation" make sure you know who's at the wheel ..frequently it's not head nor your heart ..but somewhat further south ..;)

ronin

1:43 pm on Dec 21, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



frequently it's not head nor your heart ..but somewhat further south...

Heh. Yeah, I know what that's like. But this isn't it. And it doesn't feel like my head or my heart either. It feels like it's my soul. That's more than a little unnerving given that I don't subscribe to any supernatural beliefs.

mack

2:58 pm on Dec 21, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator mack is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Getting high on life can be a great trip.. enjoy.

Mack.

rocknbil

9:15 pm on Dec 22, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member rocknbil is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member



He said, "have you ever seen her when she's mad?"

LOL . .. "no matter how perfect he/she is, there's someone somewhere that is tired of his/her ****!"

:-)

rfontaine

9:26 pm on Dec 22, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



If you can do it, you are better off being single.

Love at first sight wears away and then what you really have is friendship and shared exprience. Assuming of corse that the relationship makes it to that point.

When you are single you can what you want when you want.

Still, some of the happiest times for me have been falling in love. And some of the worst have been falling out of love.

My advice to a young man: get a dog - a dog will love you thru thick and thin and is always happy to see you no matter what. A woman however....

deejay

11:07 pm on Dec 22, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



I came, I read, I kept waiting for the punchline....

and I got a big ol' warm fuzzy instead.

:)

carpe diem, ronin, carpe diem.

and while you're at it... carpe chick.

willybfriendly

11:57 pm on Dec 22, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Look in your wallet.

Now empty it out on the dresser.

Now look in your wallet again.

That is life before love and life after love condensed to a few seconds.

(Going on our 16th annaversary this year, and have "loved" every year of it. Hope it goes as well for you!)

WBF

 

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