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Not only that, but I didn't even see what the girl looked like when it started to happen. Just the back of her head. (She'd just walked into the room and sat down). I glanced over my shoulder and found it took an immense amount of willpower just to turn back to my desk and refocus on my work.
Less than a minute later after she called me across to help her with some work we were sitting next to each other, our faces milimetres apart, her hand on the mouse, my hand resting on top of hers, guiding her.
When I mentioned that I was leaving the city in fifteen minutes and possibly never to return, she simply said: "but you are coming back tomorrow?" to which, since we both knew it anyway, I could only reply: "Yes."
We saw each other Saturday evening, Sunday lunch and Sunday evening, before I flew back to London. Everything has been effortless. We both know deep down that we have been waiting for each other. In 72 hours we didn't even kiss once, but there was, in any case, no need to.
Every time I take a step it feels like I'm two feet above the ground. This makes everything else I've ever experienced pale into insignificance.
We both know deep down that we have been waiting for each other.
Precisely!
I had been married for 19 years, divorced, and was single with no intention of getting raked over the relationship coals ever again - and in walked this redheaded fireplug that I'd known all my life, even though we'd never met.
Congrats, when you know, you know.
I found this short paper:
http://www.ship.edu/~cgboeree/genpsylove.html [ship.edu]
Much of it describes so much of what I'm feeling with uncanny precision.
I'm not made for this. I'm struggling to maintain my usual level of negativity.
As for working out what I'm doing next... I'm flying out to the Eastern Mediterranean again at the end of January. In the meantime we're in touch mostly by SMS and email.
I'm taking things slowly. It's pretty clear that we're both a little cautious and still sizing each other up.
I'm reasonably practiced at starting relationships. But feeling like this, it's easy to forget everything I ever learned.
There has to be, I know, the chance in each of our minds that the other will walk away, otherwise it's game over.
No really I did, if I was away from her for more than a day id get fidgetty, I know exactly how you feel.
Its just that im a real cynic, 100%, tend to distrust people and their motives now.
I appear to have fallen in love.
Out of curiousity why do people when they began to love someone they refer to it as a fallen condition?
It almost as if they believed that they were at a higher plain in life before love entered the picture.
fall (COME DOWN)
verb [I] fell, fallen
1. to come down onto the ground or from a high position to a lower position:
It almost as if... they were at a higher plain (sic) in life before love entered the picture.
Yes, I was, certainly.
Before Friday 9th, I could think straight and I could walk properly.
Now I have the mental acuity and concentration span of a moron and my co-ordination skills have gone out the window.
Dinosaurs are not the only species who had a smaller brain in their pelvic region which could control some functions of their life ..
In any "situation" make sure you know who's at the wheel ..frequently it's not head nor your heart ..but somewhat further south ..;)
frequently it's not head nor your heart ..but somewhat further south...
Heh. Yeah, I know what that's like. But this isn't it. And it doesn't feel like my head or my heart either. It feels like it's my soul. That's more than a little unnerving given that I don't subscribe to any supernatural beliefs.
Love at first sight wears away and then what you really have is friendship and shared exprience. Assuming of corse that the relationship makes it to that point.
When you are single you can what you want when you want.
Still, some of the happiest times for me have been falling in love. And some of the worst have been falling out of love.
My advice to a young man: get a dog - a dog will love you thru thick and thin and is always happy to see you no matter what. A woman however....