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Be honest...What are the worst/most negative things about your character

be personal if you must...

     
3:28 am on Jun 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I'll be honest first.

If I'm left alone for too long, I get very negative about myself and perhaps get to feeling a little paranoid.

It's really hard to fight it. I went to a psychiatrist for this, I was fighting depression for a few years, even bipolar symptoms. I had suicidal thoughts and my relationship with my wife was (and remains) very taxing, very exhausting for me emotionally. It's a very one-sided relationship.

Cognitive therapy - where I learned to recognize harmful thought patterns and learned to gain control over some of them - was very helpful. Luckily I needed no drugs to help me over this. But it's been very easy for me to be overcome and overloaded with demands from others....I had to learn how to put my foot down and say NO - that was really hard to learn, it felt like so much betrayal!

But my strength and my weakness remains - I'm very sensitive, always have been. I'm 38 years old and yet I remember still as a pre-teen being very sensitive about things, about people's emotions, thoughts and events. I have a freakish memory that in some things can go back almost the entire 38 years and I seem to pick up on every little nuance and detail.

Yes, I have had some very strange and very intense experiences, you could call them psychic experiences but not in any stereotypical sense (because most psychics are full of $%#@).

And if left unwanted for too long, I can deflate rapidly, falling into a spiral. I need to be wanted for more than mere hobbies, needed for useful things which are positive yet can also pay a living wage.

Your turn.

7:48 am on June 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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My mouth is my biggest asset and my biggest liability.
9:06 am on June 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Wow snowman. You sure this is the right forum for a post like that? I mean I know it is foo and all that but I would go and post that on a Psychology or self help forum. Heavy stuff!
3:04 pm on June 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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First off snowman, you are not the only one. Realize that life is suffering, no two ways about that. Also realize that there is only now, it couldn't have been any other way.
If it hasn't been suggested to you then I would say try meditation, ie - just sit, quietly. No need for religious attachments here - just sit. While sitting there are numerous techniques to quiet the onslaught of random thoughts -such as count up to ten on the exhales, if you lose count, don't worry, just start back at 1. No matter what the point here is to give these thoughts space, because essentially they(thoughts) have no reality other than what *you* assign them. Other than that most thoughts and daydreams are just "junk mail" or spam of the mind.
Honestly I don't want to get into my character flaws here, but suffice it to say that I been down many of the roads you mention.
Think of it this way - could you run a marathon right now? Probably not, since you (If you are like me) are sadly out of physical shape. Your mind needs to be exercised and developed just as well.
6:05 pm on June 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I think the biggest flaw in my character is that I have little or no faith or trust in people and their motivations. I'm constantly fighting the feeling that everyone wants something, gives nothing, it's all about me me me, and no matter how I try to break down barriers with people and open avenues of trust, they always show this face and BOOM they're outta there. :-)

I try to fight this in myself but year after year those around me just reinforce my "bad attitude."

Consequently, I have very few people I can truly call "friend." Thank (whatever deity you have) I met my wife, she is the one true soul I know. :-)

9:14 pm on June 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Im very untidy and get very aggressive when tired.

So dont ask me to tidy up when Im getting ready for bed!

I really wish it wasnt so, to both, you know when Im feeling fine (not tired) people can walk all over me and It doesnt bother me, but look at me the wrong way when im tired. GRRRRRRRR.

4:15 am on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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My biggest flaws I think is

1. I trust people too much
2. I'm too "frank and to the point" (not good at idle conversation)
3. Short memory - I forget that shouldn't trust people so much

8:31 am on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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The most negative thing about my character is that I am very quick to anger.

I recognise this and I try to cool it when I feel it coming on (e.g. when someone irritates me) but I don't always succeed.

I wish I could be more laid back and tolerant of other people's (perceived) faults.

11:55 am on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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hmmm...

I always forget where i left the house keys.

Ive got a very bad memory. I dont know what My ex girl friend looks like anymore its only been a few months. (not that its a bad thing ;) ...you get the point.)

I cant remember a 6 digit if I read it then need to type it 20 seconds later.

anyone seen Memento [imdb.com] Crazy.

3:05 pm on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Hmmm... snowman... is it time for some zazen. You are brave at heart.
6:07 pm on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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My mouth is my biggest asset and my biggest liability.

Have to agree here... mine too.

I have an annoying tendency of thinking I'm smarter than most people and I generally continue to believe that until shown otherwise. Lots of people are put off by this and although I've worked on correcting it I haven't had much luck. I deal with customers on a daily basis and often don't have the patience to do so. This is one negative aspect of my character. I'm sure there are others...

6:48 pm on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I leave the toilet seat up.
7:42 pm on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I hate that I rolled a 10 for strength when we made characters. I mean I am a fighter and I didn't get a reroll.
10:03 pm on June 27, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Sometimes I think too much.

I think.

Maybe.

I'm not sure.

Lemme think about it.