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If I'm left alone for too long, I get very negative about myself and perhaps get to feeling a little paranoid.
It's really hard to fight it. I went to a psychiatrist for this, I was fighting depression for a few years, even bipolar symptoms. I had suicidal thoughts and my relationship with my wife was (and remains) very taxing, very exhausting for me emotionally. It's a very one-sided relationship.
Cognitive therapy - where I learned to recognize harmful thought patterns and learned to gain control over some of them - was very helpful. Luckily I needed no drugs to help me over this. But it's been very easy for me to be overcome and overloaded with demands from others....I had to learn how to put my foot down and say NO - that was really hard to learn, it felt like so much betrayal!
But my strength and my weakness remains - I'm very sensitive, always have been. I'm 38 years old and yet I remember still as a pre-teen being very sensitive about things, about people's emotions, thoughts and events. I have a freakish memory that in some things can go back almost the entire 38 years and I seem to pick up on every little nuance and detail.
Yes, I have had some very strange and very intense experiences, you could call them psychic experiences but not in any stereotypical sense (because most psychics are full of $%#@).
And if left unwanted for too long, I can deflate rapidly, falling into a spiral. I need to be wanted for more than mere hobbies, needed for useful things which are positive yet can also pay a living wage.
I try to fight this in myself but year after year those around me just reinforce my "bad attitude."
Consequently, I have very few people I can truly call "friend." Thank (whatever deity you have) I met my wife, she is the one true soul I know. :-)
So dont ask me to tidy up when Im getting ready for bed!
I really wish it wasnt so, to both, you know when Im feeling fine (not tired) people can walk all over me and It doesnt bother me, but look at me the wrong way when im tired. GRRRRRRRR.
I recognise this and I try to cool it when I feel it coming on (e.g. when someone irritates me) but I don't always succeed.
I wish I could be more laid back and tolerant of other people's (perceived) faults.
I always forget where i left the house keys.
Ive got a very bad memory. I dont know what My ex girl friend looks like anymore its only been a few months. (not that its a bad thing ;) ...you get the point.)
I cant remember a 6 digit if I read it then need to type it 20 seconds later.
anyone seen Memento [imdb.com] Crazy.
joined:Aug 12, 2004
My mouth is my biggest asset and my biggest liability.
Have to agree here... mine too.
I have an annoying tendency of thinking I'm smarter than most people and I generally continue to believe that until shown otherwise. Lots of people are put off by this and although I've worked on correcting it I haven't had much luck. I deal with customers on a daily basis and often don't have the patience to do so. This is one negative aspect of my character. I'm sure there are others...
joined:Apr 22, 2004