Forum Moderators: open
Yet it amazes me, if I'm in town bogged down with shopping bags and meet someone we know, when they smile and nod at my husband and say "Ah... is she spending all your money again?"To which I reply "No, actually. I'm spending all MY money!"
It immediately brought to mind a common qestion I heard when my daughters were small. Whenever I was out with them sans my wife, whenever I encountered an adult female, I invariably heard statements similar to "So, you're babysitting today." To which I responded, "No, I'm their father - I'm parenting."
My daughters are 27 and 25 now. However, I have a 9 year old son. Although I don't hear it quite as often as I did with my daughters, whenever he and I are out together, it's not uncommon for adult females to say "So, you're babysitting today." To which I respond "No I'm his father."
"Would you like to come over for [insert holiday] dinner?"
"Sure!"
"Great! What are you bringing?"
I HATE THAT! My mother-in-law pulls that crap ALL the time. I swear I'm not eating at her house ever again. If YOU want to make dinner and invite me over YOU make dinner! Don't ask to host dinner then tell people to bring major parts of the dinner. GAH! I would NEVER ask someone to my house for dinner and expect anyone to bring a dish. When I host, I make EVERYTHING. If someone wants to bring a special dish, they can, but I certainly don't ask them to. Lazy. That's what that is. Plain lazy. No one ever taught her proper manners, I guess.
It also bugs me that no matter the situation (casual or money matters) the person will ask what my husband does for a living and then will not ask me. In money matters they frequently don't ask until they realize that my (mostly) stay at home husband does not make enough money from 15 hours a week delivering pizzas to support the purchase or issue that we are discussing. In casual situations, I get questions like, "so, do you home school the kids" because they assume that since I am at home I must not have a job.
"Would you like to come over for [insert holiday] dinner?""Sure!"
"Great! What are you bringing?"
In my case, it's more like
"Would you like to come over for dinner?"
"Sure, what do you want me to bring?"
Of course I'm flippin' well waiting. What else would I be doing here?
Syzygy
get this all the time at clients... just because I look young.
equally annoying
Oh... you like like your like *insert age between 13 and 16 here*
I'm almost 20...
That is very common.
Several nuances are communicated with this statement. One, the! is in their voice, it obviously means since you're the "web guy" (or gal) it has to be Something That You Did. Second, since the only info you can glean is "no results found" means they are typing their URL in an internet search engine.
How I want to react is pretty colorful and will never happen. How I do react is a calm explanation of where to find their browser's address bar.
I could care less
when they mean
I couldn't care less
"No, I'm their father - I'm parenting."
As I'm the one staying at home to look after our 18-month old whilst my wife has returned to work, I empathise completely with this. It's still seen as a strange choice even in 2005: I took the baby to a playgroup a couple of weeks back, and I got nothing but strange looks and stupid questions from the staff. Unsurprisingly, I didn't go back. It's hard to get over the prejudices - especially from men. Of course I can change a diaper, of course I can prepare lunch...
Why didn't you take your husband's last name?
Try going to Québec: a woman is not permitted to take her husband's name here at all (or a husband take his wife's name). Not even hyphenated. I think that it is an excellent rule. My wife is an individual, not my personal property, so why should she give up her name and identity?
I work in a small software development company (there's only 6 of us) where I'm the only female.
Needless to say, whenever I answer the phone, people invariably "assume" I'm the receptionist and ask to be put through to technical support. When I point out they ARE through to technical support and ask how I may help them, they're totally confused!
:-)
I've got some money and want to buy myself a new xx xx xx but I've got make sure the wife doesn't know about the cash
This may ruffle a few feathers but if you trust someone enough to marry them why the separate bank accounts; why the money hide and seek?
Needless to say, whenever I answer the phone, people invariably "assume" I'm the receptionist and ask to be put through to technical support.
Yup - been there done that!
My other favorite: I've been a vegetarian for decades. I don't make a big deal of it, I don't preach my choices to others, casual acquaintances rarely notice, but occasionally the topic comes up. The first question I usually get:
"Do you eat chicken?" or "Do you eat fish?"
(Um - do you understand the term "vegetarian"?)
The second question:
"Why?"
Unless I'm really crabby I just smile and change the subject...
For me, I look at it more as becoming a "family". I don't think it should be required, but for me, I'd want the option to use a "family" name rather than each person having their own individual name. For those who don't want that option, more power to ya :).
There is no we. You are a fan and you root for your team, but your involvement ends there.
ant
people talk about their favorite sports team and use the word "we"
Especially when it's a selective "we": "we won!" vs. "they lost!"
when people talk about their favorite sports team and use the word "we".
Yup, I also really find that annoying.
"You were lucky with that goal/penalty/whatever..."
No, I wasn't. I'm not in the team; never was and never will be.
Syzygy
Response, "Yes, m'am/sir, anyone 6'4" or taller wearing a cowboy hat must be from Texas, it's a law".
Then there's the "can I/may I" thing.
Any use of "irregardless". What does that mean?
When people say, "the proof is in the pudding". That's just dumb. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Misuse of anxious and eager. I like to throw out "trepidation" in those instances where anxious is used in place of eager.
"Try and" rather than "try to".
In my younger days, bartenders that would ask if I wanted another drink. "Well of course I do, my glass is empty and I'm still sitting here eh"?
And again, from my younger days, the ex that would call me at the bar to ask what I was doing. "I'm having tea and finger sandwiches, getting ready to play croquet. I'm at the bar, what do you think I'm doing"? No secret why she's an ex huh? ;)
. . . I took the baby to a playgroup a couple of weeks back, and I got nothing but strange looks and stupid questions from the staff. . . .
Divorced when my daughter was 11, she came home to live with me and when I went to put her in school, they balked! Wanted everyone's birth cert and all the divorce papers, etc. etc. I went blue. Told them either you register her or I'm homeschooling. They want their money so case closed at that point.
I KNOW this is to protect kids in spousal disputes but it doesn't change the fact - if I were a woman they wouldn't have given it another thought (poor dear, I bet your ex was a beast, simply a beast . . . )
Especially when it's a selective "we": "we won!" vs. "they lost!"
How about "look what I just won on eBay!"
What? The honor of sending away some of your hard-earned greenbacks? :-)
How about "look what I just won on eBay!"
eBay take the "win" even more seriously. The first time you "win" something they send you an email to congratulate you on your "victory".
<puke>
For some reason it really bugs me when I get a haircut and somebody always has to ask, "Did you get a haircut?" "Yeah, all of them in fact."
The other one is when I get a sunburn and you get the instant reaction, "Ew, your sunburned!" "Thanks for the diagnosis. So that's why I'm in pain."
Guess I get bugged with people stating the obvious ;-)
I'm not sure what bothered me more, the fact they asked the dumb question, or the fact they tried the doorknob with me standing in the cold right next to it. Guess some people don't connect things like others.
"Are you sure?"
Well, no, to tell the truth, neither of us could testify to the fact. But our mother empahtically states that she clearly remembers that our respective arrivals were separated by the space of eighteen months!
What I always want to say: "No, eleven men who just happen to come from the same country as you do beat eleven men from another country. Whoop debloodydoo."
What I actually say: "Well, you're bigger and stupider than me, and you're drunk. Of course you're right. Well done."
Any way after about 4 or 5 others showed up, each was told that the same thing I walked off and watched from a distance, to my amusement teh teacher came along and walked straight in. The class of about 30 had waited in teh cold for 10 minutes.
The class was in uproar having to wait in the cold cos someone at the front said the door was locked and it wasnt. Just thought this was really funny. Warped I guess.
"So, you're babysitting today."
" Are you married?"
"No."
And that is followed by either:
"Why?" or "Don't you want kids?"
Ach, the nerve of some people I tell ya. Why oh why do they think it's appropriate to question me about such personal matters? Sometimes when I get the "why?" I'll go off on a long rambling tirade (mostly made up) about what jerks all of my exboyfriends were and that's why I never married and that usually suffices as good payback;-)
Try going to Québec: a woman is not permitted to take her husband's name here at all (or a husband take his wife's name). Not even hyphenated. I think that it is an excellent rule. My wife is an individual, not my personal property, so why should she give up her name and identity?
Marriage CAN just be cause you are in love, and want to share your life, with someone, rather than as part of a procreation plan!
