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The boy stood on the burning deck,
His legs were all a' quiver,
He gave a cough,
His leg fell off,
And floated down the river.
:)
Got one?
Inky pinky ponky,
Father had a donkey,
Donkey died,
Father Cried,
Inky pinky ponky.
My little cousin loves that one.
Can't believe I'm posting this publicly! ;)
Um. Needless to say, that's the "clean" version....
God's plan made a hopeful beginning,
But Man spoilt his chances by sinning;
We trust that the story
Will end in great glory,
But at present the other side's winning.
Now the bishop was nobody's fool
He'd been to a large public school
...maybe that's not so good
There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And returned home the previous night.
answered by
Dear Sir, Your astonishment’s odd:
I am always about in the Quad.
And that’s why the tree
Will continue to be,
Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.
There once was a man named Sig Meanous
<rimshot>
Seriously, here's one I penned in sixth grade:
There once was a big trout named Don
Who went way, way upstream to spawn
He built a big house
But still lacked a spouse
Because all the females were gone.
Evangelical vicar in want, of a portable secondhand font, will exchange for the same, a picture in frame, of the bishop-elect of Vermont.
Olwen, I love the "secondhand font" one - but how many "online specific" folks are likely to get it?
A flea and a fly in a flue
were stuck so what could they do?
"Let us fly," said the flea!
"Let us flee," said the fly!
So they flew through a flaw in the flue!
Syzygy
Um. Needless to say, that's the "clean" version....
care to share the 'other' ;)
here's one from waaaaay back:
Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pylon,
a hundred volts went up it's bum,
and turned its wool to nylon.
sorry.
Only the Episcopalians....
limbo: sorry, not even going to attempt to post it here. Suffice it to say that since my mind is normally in the gutter, it's while quite funny, not at all repeatable in polite company.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
...and in finding the correct wording for that old favorite, I came across these two:
The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.
The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
I have a collection of literally 200+ NONE of which I can post here. ;)
There was an old man from Montmartre
Who was famed far and wide for his f**t
When they cried "What a noise!"
He replied, with great poise
"When I f**t sir, I f**t from the heart!"
When I wrote on this subject before,
I Googled to find out much more.
I found a brave site
Where they're trying to write
A limerick dictionary store.
The story goes that a poet ran up such a bar tab that the landlord, desperate to get his attention, sent him the tab in a funny poem - the first limerick. The poet was so impressed he told all his friends about this new form of poetry he'd discovered, and named it after the town.
I may have been taken in by a tale for tourists however, these Irish are clever little fellows!
And as a tip, don't stay for lunch there, it's a complete tourist trap. Go for the inn at the top of the road, much nicer!
Hehe
Cheers, limbo. ;)
