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Now the bishop was nobody's fool
He'd been to a large public school
...maybe that's not so good
There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And returned home the previous night.
Dear Sir, Your astonishment’s odd:
I am always about in the Quad.
And that’s why the tree
Will continue to be,
Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.
There once was a man named Sig Meanous
Seriously, here's one I penned in sixth grade:
There once was a big trout named Don
Who went way, way upstream to spawn
He built a big house
But still lacked a spouse
Because all the females were gone.
A flea and a fly in a flue
were stuck so what could they do?
"Let us fly," said the flea!
"Let us flee," said the fly!
So they flew through a flaw in the flue!
Um. Needless to say, that's the "clean" version....
care to share the 'other' ;)
here's one from waaaaay back:
Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pylon,
a hundred volts went up it's bum,
and turned its wool to nylon.
limbo: sorry, not even going to attempt to post it here. Suffice it to say that since my mind is normally in the gutter, it's while quite funny, not at all repeatable in polite company.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
...and in finding the correct wording for that old favorite, I came across these two:
The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.
The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
The story goes that a poet ran up such a bar tab that the landlord, desperate to get his attention, sent him the tab in a funny poem - the first limerick. The poet was so impressed he told all his friends about this new form of poetry he'd discovered, and named it after the town.
I may have been taken in by a tale for tourists however, these Irish are clever little fellows!
And as a tip, don't stay for lunch there, it's a complete tourist trap. Go for the inn at the top of the road, much nicer!