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Not in the thread but classics:
And my personal favorite:
The axe is sharp but the haft is slick. (sharp tongue, no grasp)
Lost the reins/Slipped the bit/Slaps the apple
Ties slipknots in the air.
All fence, no posts. (talks a good game, no substance)
Herds chickens (lost it) ;)
Sells registered mules.
Baled too tight.
Prices bales but sells rolls.
/Is looking for shells for his muzzle loader
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Sharp as a hammer (or a bowling ball in severe cases)
If s/he had two brain cells, they'd only confuse each other
Knuckle-dragging oxygen thief
To include the whole family: What gene puddle did you crawl out of?