Your favorite "Not quite all there" expression

[photon]

A few from another thread here:

A few bricks shy of a load

A few cans short of a six pack

Not in the thread but classics:

His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top

The lights are on but nobody's home

And my personal favorite:

Half a bubble off plumb

[Macguru]

I guess we just found the 'missing link'.

[vkaryl]

Oh yeah - this one's from my long-dead aunt by way of the Ouija board (erm. Not really, but she DID love the thing!):

13 eggs short of a dozen

[tbear]

Last in the queue when brains were handed out.

[Lilliabeth]

Not the shiniest car on the lot
A nibble shy of a byte
Every link is a 404
Caught in an endless loop
Gravity not the only thing holding him down

[Macguru]

He is a Foo mod.

[bedlam]

• Couldn't find his/her own [portion of anatomy] with both hands and a flashlight
  
• Can't tell his/her [same portion of anatomy] from his/her elbow
  

OT - My favourite insulting expression: 'Two pounds of [anything unpleasant] in a one-pound bag.'

-B

[vkaryl]

Quoting Palehorse just now in another thread, and similar to yours, bedlam:

Can't find his **** with both hands and a map.

[edit_g]

Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all the branches on the way down.

[Chris_D]

"A few snags short of a barbie" (where snags are sausages, and a Barbie is a BBQ).

[Woz]

Ha! I forgot that one Chris, thanks. Of course, my favourite is "a picnic short of a sandwich", and yes, I did get it 'round the right way.

Onya
Woz

[HowlingWizard]

One I learned from a field service guy many years ago. Not really about people, but does apply to folk trying to operate the equipment.

Equipment does not function in O-F-F mode.

[pendanticist]

"Couldn't find his / her ass if it was a hole in the ground."

"Two bubbles shy of plum."

"Two bricks shy of a load (that the hod carrier carries)."

"The lights are on, but no one's home."

[pendanticist]

"Two bubbles shy of plum."

Plum is something we eat.

Plumb is what I was shooting for.

:o

[bedlam]

How about 'A few atoms short of critical mass'?

-B

[Teknorat]

A few links short of PR :P

Offer him a penny for his thoughts and you'll get change.

[edit_g]

A few links short of PR :P

lol - a few grains short of a sandbox... ;)

[werty]

One from Dad that is "work friendly".

"If brains were dynamite, he/she could not blow their nose"

[digitalghost]

He/She couldn't pour water out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.

The axe is sharp but the haft is slick. (sharp tongue, no grasp)

Lost the reins/Slipped the bit/Slaps the apple

Ties slipknots in the air.

All fence, no posts. (talks a good game, no substance)

Herds chickens (lost it) ;)

Sells registered mules.

Shoes donkeys.

Baled too tight.

Prices bales but sells rolls.

/Is looking for shells for his muzzle loader

[giggle]

My favourite: If he had two brains he would be twice as stupid

[clearvision]

For someone who is standing in front of the TV while you are watching it,

" You make a better door than a window"

[Woz]

>My favourite: If he had two brains he would be twice as stupid

My favourite when I have done something silly (unlikely as that may be) is "If I had another brain it would be lonely."

Onya
Woz

[rj87uk]

The lights are on but no one is home!

[KeithDouglas]

"His traytable's not in the upright, locked, position."

[cabowabo]

Speaking of intelligence ...

"You can't lose what you never had."

[mivox]

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Sharp as a hammer (or a bowling ball in severe cases)

If s/he had two brain cells, they'd only confuse each other

Knuckle-dragging oxygen thief

To include the whole family: What gene puddle did you crawl out of?

[grandpa]

Lost like a ball in high weeds.

[mivox]

When referring to *ahem* people of 'limited genetic diversity':

Kick one, they all limp.

[vkaryl]

mivox.... are you SURE you don't live around here? That last one is pretty much a given for this area....

[Eric_Jarvis]

I have no idea of the origins of this description, but I just love the absurdity of it.

"Mad as a box of frogs."

[mivox]

are you SURE you don't live around here?

LOL... Is everything covered with snow there? If not, it's definitely not my neighborhood. ;)