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Google is the Best Detective Tool - EVER!

It's amazing how you know your son is lying.

     
3:31 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Updated my personal bank account passbook today, and found a strange $452.68 debit.

When I enquired at my bank - the debit was from my cable/phone/Internet (all the same company) direct payment plan.

Trotted over to see them to enquire - and found out that a number of long distance calls and collect calls where made.

Background - pay for my EX's cable/phone/Internet for the son since now-a-days these are near necessarities for a teen.

Call the EX but neither she nor he (son) made any long distance calls or excepted any collect calls. Asked a second time insisting that I would call the number. All calls out and collect calls were to & from the same place.

Answer... Not me, I didn't!

please note in one month - 5029 minutes in long distance & collect calls!

Next step: call the numbers... no answer.

Next step: Google... type number in, plus province.

hmmm... 1 match... a personal home page... click... hmmm... kind of cute, though a little too young for me.

What's this... Damien Brown (son's name) is my boyfriend and I love him so much... and... (the clincher) we talk every day and almost all weekend when his mum isn't home... Damien number XXX-XXXX.

Talk about being stupid... that's the number I pay for.

Thanks Googleguy... that took 0.8 seconds to query and 5 minutes reading.

So what should I do?

3:37 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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So what should I do?

Begin your own private eye office?

3:44 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Begin your own private eye office?

To pay for the girlfriend's rights... right?

3:45 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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>> Background - pay for my EX's cable/phone/Internet for the son since now-a-days these are near necessarities for a teen.

If the Ex didn't know then what can you do? If it's not in the D Agreement then it's time to hand this over to her since the "crime" was committed while he was under her supervision. Or.. any chance of putting a ceiling on the account?

3:51 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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At a minimum, you need to confront them with the evidence!
3:58 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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To pay for the girlfriend's rights... right?

Of course not. That's to make yourself filthy rich with your google superpowers.

I'm not divorced, but I know people that are. I'd say, ask the divorce attorney that you should have used during the process, show him/her the site, eat some popcorn and enjoy the show :)

4:05 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Cut your son off from - cable/phone/Internet.

If he wants it, he can pay for it.

4:08 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Yep, cut him off
4:27 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Don't link to the site...a nice PR could prove costly.
4:33 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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You've got every reason to question a debit that you can't account for. You said you'd call the number, so he knew you would do this. Of course you'd try to find out who "might" have gotten into your account if there was the possibility of fraud going on.

Tell him/Ex (needs to know too) you investigated the debit, searched Google and here's what you found.

An expression of parental disappointment about finding the truth wouldn't be out of bounds. I think I would also cut off the account - he can always use email and instant messaging if he still uses his PC. Or...if he has a cell phone, purchase a set amount for calls with a pre-paid card.

Oh, and he could help pay some of the debit off if he's got allowance too...your choice.

4:51 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Beat the starch out of him (that part is just for your own well-being), then shut down the account. Put him to work at a laborer's wage, once he repays you reopen the account but set a limit based on what you had anticipated the rate would be. When the account is opened again, don't set it up on a draft.
4:56 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Ok... I neglected to mention that the EX & I have an extremely good "not living together" relationship... there is no problems here.

The cost is not a concern either, I remember being a teenage who thought he could get away with anything. :) ;)

I find it rather amusing that in less than a minute I knew more through Google (who doesn't know me or them from God, Adam & Eve) than the companies I have a working relationship with.

So... Dad can not be fooled so easily with Google around, any ideas on how I can prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt!

Any innovative ideas here ;)

I thought about copying her web page and optimizating it for:

Truth be told

5:01 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Truth hurts

or

Love hurts

5:20 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Jeez.........I'm sure glad RC ain't my papa. :)
5:32 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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first offence?
cut off one of his fingers.
just one.
as a warning.
it'll be the last time he messes with you.
trust me on that.
they don't call me 9 fingers for nothing you know.
7:55 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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That kid needs a prepaid calling plan. Like ASAP! ;)
8:04 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Don't know where you are located but can't you put a long distance block on the phone? If he wants to call her, he can buy calling cards. He can still email/chat/talk over the net if you want to leave him with the minimum.

I wouldn't be soft on him. He lied to you and tried to defraud/steal from you. That's some serious stuff.

If he gets away with this time, he'll try it again. Either by trying to con you or someone else. You are doing him more harm then good by letting him slide by in any degree.

This is his welcome to the real world and come to Jesus time.

My parents taught me independence and self-reliance early. I remember working as a dishwasher in a Chinese restaurant at 13 years of age for $2.50 an hour.

Parents in the Prairie lands USA don't f*&% around.

Could it be that your hesitance over punishing him more thoroughly stems from guilt because of the divorce?

Understandable. But don't think it's a good enough reason.

That mys 2 cents and with no offense.

8:06 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Put someone else's name on the site, and then work with the mother to find him a new local girlfriend.
8:37 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Ask your telco why they didnt switch you to a better rate or why this person isnt on friends and family. :D oOoo ya hehehe i called BBS's around the world (thinking they were all in the US) and racked up my dad a 500.00 phone bill. ouch. what sucked is the first bill came like 300 something and i got in trouble.. heheh then the next bill came couz it was in the middle and he was even more mad :D
10:20 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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I wouldn't be soft on him. He lied to you and tried to defraud/steal from you. That's some serious stuff.

Exactly, IMO. Figure out a plan by which he can pay you back... and in the meantime, work out with your ex how to restrict long distance service in her house.

Is there any way you can help her set up a calling card/calling code system where she would need to enter a calling code before toll-calls are made?

10:27 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Google is a master at this sort of stuff,

Put him to work requesting links or writing content :)

a useful learning experience will teach him that Love dont come cheap.

Shak

ppg

10:37 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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they don't call me 9 fingers for nothing you know.

LOL!
10:43 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Very funny thread.

How old is your son?

If he's over 13, he should be able to get that money in less than a month easily, but be sure to tell him that he is not paying you back because he made the calls, but because he lied, because truth tolled love don't have a price, and quite often when your in love you don't think about money (You see where the world is heading, imagine how much money you could make if you couldn't fall in love!)

Also how did he meet this girl, because of the distance, did they meet via the Internet, maybe they met via Google ;)

11:24 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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17 in May, and I assume they met at Air Cadets, and/or the International Tattoo which he is a part of each year but really I have no idea.

Put someone else's name on the site, and then work with the mother to find him a new local girlfriend.

Interesting... works on the same principle shoveled at me:

What he don't know won't hurt him.

If caught deny everything.

Plead innocent to all charges.

And as lazerzubb & Shakil suggests "truth tolled love don't have a price"... it can withstand all obstacles.

Better to know this for sure right?

Thanks all... inspiring, oustanding feedback.

11:43 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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As your son has denied this perhaps you should keep him up to date with the progress the police are making detecting this fraud.

Drop hints so it is obvious that the trail leads to girlfriend, talk about prision and fines, tell him how SERIOUS fraud is and how pleased you are that the police are hunting down the nasty criminal etc etc.

In short frighten the crap out him for trying to decieve.

Ideally he will come to you to "confess", that depends on his character... if he doesn't ask him why he is willing to get girlfriend into apparent trouble to save his own miserable skin.

zooloo

11:58 am on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Zooloo's got a good plan. String him along scaring the beejeebers out of him the whole time.

"Yep, yep, yep got another call from Detective Johnson today. He says since it is over $300, it's a felony offense. Only a matter of time now. Then the guilty person will be the new b*^#h of cellblock B. Yaaaaap, only matter of time now."

12:06 pm on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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such evil thoughts from such nice people.

16 year old boys do strange things, this 1 is quite civilised by most of the actions done by teenagers these days.

Punish him fine, but lets keep away from frightening the living daylights out of him.

What if he is so scared and RUNS away from home (and this sort of thing is the most common reason why childern run away)

Shak

(did I really write the above, as it must be a sign of my age)

12:41 pm on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Sounds like you have become your father, Shak. :)

lawman

12:56 pm on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Isn't is wierd how collaborative discussions can bring out the best & worst in us! ;)
1:22 pm on Jan 4, 2003 (gmt 0)

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Fathom,

This is a really serious thing. If he thinks he can lie to you and steal from you ... he is definitely going down the wrong path.

Calmly, sit him down, show him what you discovered and how you discovered it. Then ask him what he has to say. If he doesn't take responsibility and offer to pay you back a.s.a.p. ... he has a lot of growing up to do.

I think you need to give him the chance to redeem himself before deciding what punishment will fit the crime. Afterall, he is a teenager in love and with all those raging hormones screaming around ... he may not be thinking straight. :)

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