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Iv just had the funniest morning ever..thought id share it with you web guru's:)
I was late for work so I ran to my car this morning still putting my top on….it got tangled so I had to take it completely off and then put it on properly. What I didn’t see until afterwards was that the guys from next door were all standing outside very amused while I stood there in my bra battling with my top. Then my car overheated on the way to work..so I had to take it to the garage…after that I realized I had locked my keys in the car! I had to battle with a screwdriver to get the door unlocked. While doing this a police man approached me, you can imagine…I had to show him my license and explain what had happened….he wasn’t amused. It took me 20min to convince him that it was my car. He wanted to arrest me for breaking into my OWN bloody car..it was so bad that all I could do was laugh….i just found out that police officers don’t like it when you laugh at them…I finally just got to work. Thank gawd no one has asked me why im late because if they do im probably going to scream! What a way to start the weekend:)
Have any of you ever had a morning like this?
I went out to hop in the car, and it wouldn't start. I tried using our little portable jumpstart unit on it, but it wouldn't quite turn over fast enough.
I go inside and call my roadside assistance program to have them send someone out to jump the car... and half an hour later, they call back saying they are havingtrouble finding someone to come all the way out to my house... I call my boyfriend's work, and ask his boss to have him call home as soon as he gets in. I call the vet's office, in tears by now, and tell them I'm going to be late.
I pushed the car halfway down the driveway, so it was sitting next to our old station wagon (we keep meaning to sell it, but haven't got around to it), so I can jump start it. Can't find the keys to the station wagon anywhere. Our driveway is covered in slick, icy, compacted snow, and I've bruised my legs horribly slipping and knocking them against the car door and body as I pushed it, swearing and screaming like a raving lunatic (our nearest neighbors are not visible from our yard, thank god).
I go back inside, and the roadside people call back, saying they can't find anyone to come to my house, unless I can pay cash up front... and then a strange (much newer than ours) truck pulls into the driveway, and my boyfriend and his children get out the passenger side. Our truck threw a rod halfway into town, and they sat there on the side of the road for a long time, waiting for me to drive by on my way into town behind them.
Three hours later, my boyfriend recruits someone from the neighborhood store to come jumpstart the car... we ended up replacing the alternator when we got home that night, and having roadside assistance tow the truck home a couple of days later.
How's that? :)
i rememebr once for my birthday i was driving home,drank some beer (it was udner the "offense limit") and police stoped me. the guy was in bad mood..everything was ok with car and the alko test showed a little less that limit so he could not punish me...so he decided to be picky and searched my car for CARS "first aid kit" (you know lightbulbs etc)..well,sure enough i was missing few lightbulbs! he started telling me that "where are the light bulbs, you have to have them!"...since i was hapyp that day and i decided to what the heck (if i give in i will be fined for sure) and did a well known joke on him...this is like 3 years odl so maybe i forgot soemthing...
conversation(after finding that everything is ok with car and me but he still wanted to find some "offense"):
cop:um, you have to have extra lightbulb in case something happens!(he sounded like he was not sure but wanted to use authority trick on me..)
me: well, if something happens to my lights i will go to gas station and buy one.
cop:khm,yes,no, you have to have it in the car..
cop: so you can replace it imediatelly.
me: well,sir, let me ask you do we also need screewdriver as neccessary item in "car's first aid" box?
cop:no (looking confused)
me: well, sir, how am i suppose to unscrew the mask on my lights then on the road?
cop:you stop some car
me: but screewdriver is not necesarry item to habve in the box, so no one wil have it..
cop:well then you go and buy it on gas station (cop takes some winning pose!).every gas staion has it!or go home and take one!
me: well, if i go to gas station to buy screwdriver i can also buy a new lightbulb! and while driving home i can stop at gas stations to buy both!
cop:zghlbjsh! (you should see his expression on face!he was not angy at that point,more suprised,confused)
at that moment cop was thinking if it is better to go and waste time by checking the rules and making himself look stupid or just let me go..he jsut said.."ok sir, but please buy some additional lightbuls, you know,jsut in case!
of course as a very conscientious citizen (feelings my mental win inside) i jsut said: yes, sir, today i'll go and buy some lighbulbs!
while driving away and looking back in the miror i saw cop "scratching" his head for some time!:)
i made this joke after hearing my friend made it some months before me and if you hit on some not so bright cop you can win :) (at least in my country)
My car is an ol Morris Minor 1000 its 26 years old, tax emempt in the UK, me and my girlfirend were going to the cinema, to see halloween resurrection.. When we got there it was late and there was only one screening left. Which we were the only two people going to see. the staff at the cinema were obviously wanting to knock off early, so they tried to disuade us by telling us that we would be the only ones in there and we might get scared. That didnt bother us so we watched it anyway. When we got into the screening room. We noticed theses black lines all over the screen making the film nearly unwatchable. But after a while we got use to it, and started to enjoy the film, which was quite scary. Then the heating broke, and it got pretty cold. So when we left the cinema at about midnight we were really annoyed. When we got back to the car I noticed we had a flat tire, so I had to wrestle with the jack to change th tire over. My old car was pretty damm heavy, i can tell you. Then when I fixed the flat, I tried to start the car and the battery had gone flat. So I had to push it to get it started, which was difficult as there was not alot of room in the car park to get a good run. Also my girlfriend could not drive so therefore had no experience in jump starting a car. Finally we got it running after about an hours or so. Then we set off home. We then got lost on some country road in thick fog, at which point the car stop running again. We had just seen a relativly scary film and I was a little reluctant to get out in the fog and push start it again. In case Mike Myers appeared from nowhere and stuick a knife in my back. In the end I had to but I was pretty damm scared, I had to change my trousers when we got back.. That was proabbly the worts day i have had this year.
One day I actually DID get arrested for stealing my own car in front of a girl with whom I went out on a first date!
What happened was - I forgot to pay some of my parking tickets and New York traffic authority is very quick to tow it away if you do. I woke up for work and when I did not see my car, I thought it was stolen. I called the cops and filled a police report. Later that afternoon I found out what happened and bought my car out from the impound lot, but forgot to let the police know.
Two days later as I am driving through the jungles of Manhattan, some young hotshot cop decide to run my plates. The next thing I remember is 5 police cars cornering my car and dozen guns pointing at me. Five minutes latter I was sitting in the precinct trying to figure out why I got arrested. I had to convince them to actually match my driver license to my car registration. Police precinct was rocking from the laughter.
Poor girl was so frightened she did not answer the phone for one week, I had to ask one of the officers to call her and explain the situation. We've been going out for three years....
I am sorry if this could be offensive to you, but I had to skip your post. Would you like to know the reason?
When writing for the internet, try to brake your article into small paragraphs, this style looks less scary to the reader and actually looks smaller.
Also, it is easier to understand entire text by fragments, rather than trying to swallow it all at once.
Back on topic:
I rent a room in a villa from a couple, who had a guest (self invited) staying - arrived on saturday there and intends to stay for a fortnight.
She is Swedish and likes a drink or two...
You know the stereotype of Scandanavian women (not the pretty, 21 yr old blonde stereotype; the large opera singer with a loud shrill voice)?
Well, she is the only person i have met that fits a stereotype.
So at 1130pm last night i was sitting typing up an article for a new site im doing and she decided to come into the office and site and watch me work.
Drunk as hell.
For 40 minutes I had...spam? whats spam? Do you know C++? Whats this? Whats that? Theres a spelling mistake...
All the time my landlord is trying to get rid of her (she wants to go to bed, but doesnt want to leave this person bugging me), and im saying "I really need to get this done and i cant do it with you here".
Over and over again. And the again for good measure.
But she insisted that she wanted to "watch" me work.
So we got rid of her (went to sleep on the sofa).
About an hour later my landlord gets up and asks me if i had just been to the bathroom. "not for an hour of so".
This crazy drunk had gone to the bathroom and left all the taps running, gone to the kitchen and put her jeans in the fridge (?) and had been in my room.
I shudder to think in what order these events occured and i am fairly relieved that I was working in the office not sleeping in my bed! :)
A 51 yr old rather drunk (and large) woman wandering into your room in the middle of the night is not what a 24 yr old guy wants, really, is it? ;)
Needless to say shes getting chucked out (hopefully) today. Otherwise she had intended staying for a fortnight.
Youre having a bad morning...im gonna be having a bad few weeks...think ill have to put in some overtime! ;)
ps...with all that annoyance i did knock together a fairly decent article on "keeping your site free from spam - the benefits" - im fairly impressed with myself. :)
Art, mikes post wasnt excalty novel-length, now was it? I found it as simple as the others to digest.
This is your opinion and that one was mine. you represent a certain percentage of online readers and so do I. And I strongly believe that most online readers have, as myself, an attention span of 17 milliseconds. You have to lure your reader into every paragraph.