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I have a client with a terrible Yahoo description, I can't believe his original web developer would of submitted it and I suspect the Yahoo editors probably rewrote it. It would of been submitted about 12 months ago. How do you find out who the editor was? Or can you just email them about it anyway?
I also think it's helpful to lay out good reasons for requesting an update in a respectful tone that asks not demands, and expresses appreciation for someone taking the effort to make a change. The fact is you're communicating with someone who's probably busy as hell, doesn't profit from making an effort, and could easily click a delete option for any reason at all. At the very least, give no reason to delete.
As far as getting mine edited, I'm with Bentler, we spend serious time designing yahoo specific desc's. We have a 95% accept rate, roughly, we sometimes get a disgruntled editor and get nailed but, on the whole, we get what we pay for.
I think a lot depends on the editor(s) responsible for the category you are listed in.
My experience goes back to about a 1 1/2 years ago, so don't know how useful it is now.
I had a site with no description, so I emailed the editor from the page where you would submit a site, and pointed out that a description would benefit Yahoo's users, and help differentiate the various sites listed. I got a nice, brief reply from the editor agreeing with me and accepting my description. That was before Yahoo started charging for listings. So, maybe money talks now.