News: Yahoo adds soul searching

Special Report from "America's Finest News Source"

[258cib]

SUNNYVALE, CA—Hoping it will push them to the top of an increasingly competitive market, Internet portal Yahoo has added soul-search capabilities to its expanding line of search tools, company executives announced Monday.

"Capable of navigating the billions of thoughts, experiences, and emotions that make up the human psyche, the new Yahoo soul-search engine helps users find what's deep inside them quickly and easily," Yahoo CEO Terry Semel said. "All those long, difficult nights of pondering your place in this world are a thing of the past."

Yahoo's main competitor recently introduced two new advanced search functions: Google Local, which highlights search results from a specific geographic area, and Google Personalized Search, which allows users to create a profile of their interests to influence search results. But Semel called Yahoo's new search function "vastly more precise."
...
"There are bound to be some bugs, but we're not too worried," Semel said. "We at Yahoo have a lot of experience in helping people navigate an environment full of falsehoods, random useless information, and truly horrifying pornography. I don't think the human soul will hold any real surprises for us."
more at
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[2_much]

Through Yahoo's soul search I realized that I was meant to be an elephant trainer, not an internet marketer.

[258cib]

Where do I submit my soul to be indexed?

[seasalt]

So do identical twins incur a duplication penalty?

seasalt

[abates]

I'm hoping mine gets a good WebRank so I can sell it and get lots of money. :)

[258cib]

I'm hoping mine gets a good WebRank so I can sell it and get lots of money. :)

Uh oh. I think you just blew it.