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are they both counted, or is there more whieght given from the sites that i dont link back to?
There's no reason afaik that any links would not be counted if they are normal href=" links.. (Notwithstanding penalisation)
If two people (A&B) link to your page, and your page links back to only one of them,(A) you are essentially giving some of B's pageRank to A.. taking a little commision on the way through.
The amount of 'commision' you get depends on how many other links there are on your page.. assuming that there are 4 links to other places on your site on the page they are linking to and one link to person A, your page would be taking about 15% of the incoming PR, 68%'ish goes to into the rest of your site and your giving 17%ish back to person A..
(Not sure if the maths is absolutely right - and it's a little more complicated in reality... but)
Does that help? ATB :)