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but this returns "Your search - link:www.widgets.com -inurl:www.widgets.com - did not match any documents.
It should be "link:www.site.com -site:www.site.com" ... but it doesn't seem to work.
If you must use Google for checking backlinks, it's best to set your "Preferences" to 100 results per page. At least your own internal links will be nicely grouped then.
If I actually understand what you're trying to do, I can't see how G can manage it. It's a thought though - maybe have a command showing all the sites that a domain exchanges links with, "linkback:www.example.com".