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Afraid of success?

ramblings of a lost AM'er...



6:03 pm on Nov 26, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

For those who may still remember me, I was on my way to $300/day, but took a bit of a nosedive about 7 months ago. I've been since then travelling around Europe, and currently in Berlin, about 2 weeks away from returning back to the US. In the meantime, I've done a bit of work here and there, doing maintenance, putting up a couple sites, but nothing major in terms of dedication. The end of this stage of my journey got me thinking, about life, goals, and of course, the means to still continue to do that.

Basically I have plan right in front of me that could potentially boost me up to $500/day very easily. It's RIGHT THERE. My list of great ideas is huge. I can succeed beyond the income of the average worker, fully realize the "American Dream" in a couple years of high profit, reinvest everything in real estate and other less risky ventures, live off the rent/interest/etc and enjoy life for the rest of it.

But, I'm not motivated. Right now I'm living an easy life, spoiled by my 'early success' and I know I should be doing more. Yes, I should work my ass off right now while the good is still good. Yes later it will be harder. Yes things could tank over just as it did 7 months ago. Yes, yes, yes. I know.

I know I won't get too much sympathy fom my plight, but if you (think you) have the key to your financial independence, and you're not doing what you should to get there, what's the freaking deal with that!?!?...


3:11 pm on Nov 29, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

rfung, like others I'm jealous.

I'm 32 and have been making good money in this game for 4 years or so...unfortunately it was 5-6 years ago when I I had the freedom to do what you are doing - enjoy it!


11:54 am on Nov 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

I've been there

I'm now back in the workforce.

I'll be leaving it again in a year or three but this time if I go back to the workforce it will be because I want to, not because I need to pay the bills.

I understand the fear of success but not how to conquer it.

I made a comfortable living from affiliate marketing for several years, I came across oppurtunities and systems that had the potential to make 1,000's a day, but I just did enough work to get by.

If someone has cure for the fear of success which doesnt involve listening to self grandising guru's then I'd love to hear it.


2:20 pm on Nov 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

Replace one fear with another.

Replace it with the fear of failure. I find having dependants really helps focus the mind. Parents, wife, kids, mortgages(who wants to be homeless, or worse yet, have their loved ones homeless), car payments, kids. Those are very, very powerful forces. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Also try to ignore the money. Think of it more like points accrued. This helps remove the emotional attachement to money most of us have. Once that is detached, a more strategic view emerges of how to move forward.

just my 2 cents


11:45 pm on Nov 30, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

I had a huge fear of success/failure. I always liked the thought of a successful program more then the actually doing it. That cost me. I was alway worried about it failing and then my "good feeling" would be gone.

The way I conquered it was to finally one day just dive in head first and say I dont' care if it fails, I'm going to give it 110%. If it doesn't work, I'll find something else that will.

That has propelled me to heights I never thought I would ever reach in a million years and now I'm STILL constantly adding new things and looking for new avenues to take. I have now have a "never satisfied" attitude. Whereby if I hit a good program, I'll keep it going, but I will ALWAYS be on the lookout for the next big one too...

You just have to dig deep down inside yourself and realize that you miss 100% of the shots you never take.


1:38 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

"good feeling"

It's like a high, isn't it? Launching something then watching the stats come in? Mmm I need another fix. ;)

Hey, that's motivation alone!


3:12 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

I understand what you mean. Affiliate marketing contributes nothing to society so it's difficult to get excited about it. Once you earn good money then what?

You have to realize that money is a tool and should not be the foundation for your life. Earn enough money so that the money can work for itself and then you no longer have to work. Once this is accomplished you can move on and do what interests you.


3:43 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

Everything you said is true. AM/AS doesn't contribute much to society. That's why I can't be motivated to create cookie cutter template sites (which is part of my strategy) and enjoy much more building complex web applications that do something more than just being informational (for instance my textbook price comparison engine) , but even then, it's a fine line when talking about contribution.

Earn enough money so that the money can work for itself and then you no longer have to work.

This is the problem. Making money to work for itself couldn't be more devoid of objective, but it's something that ought to be done if I'd like to continue my lifestyle. And, tho travelling, doing just about what you want and more is a great way to live life, it's also a bit devoid of reason. I reckon I'm not contributing to society either by doing that... Should I be shoplifting for fun and excitment anytime soon? :)

Ridiculous as it sounds, one really misses a 'job' to give you purpose.

(then we think about the horrible hours, crazy bosses and deadlines, rush hour, and completely forget any idea about ever coming to work a 'job' again.:) but that's not the point...)


4:18 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

When I say money should work for itself, i'm talking about passive investments that require no upkeeping. Make it your goal to have 1 million in the bank and then live off of the 10% annual interest. After that you never have to worry about money again for the exception of additional investments. If you have real estate investments, you can pay a company 5-10% and they take care of everything.

My biggest motivator at the moment is to get out of alberta canada and to get a residence on vancouver island and one in belize. Once that is accomplished my goal is start a nonprofit organization. After that all I need is some passive income to travel. I even have set dates.

You basically have to figure out what you want out of life and aim for it specifically.

I agree entirely... these cookie cutter websites are boring as hell and dont give me a sense of accomplishment at all. The only thing i like about it is the lifestyle... work when and where you want.


4:54 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

A Simple Formula

- Stop Watching TV - go cold turkey
- Read Non-Fiction
- Eat Healthy and Drink Lightly
- Start Exercising Regularly

This will give you more energy, more ideas, and plenty of motivation to do whatever you want to do. Try it for a month and you'll see results. Many of the things you are currently hoping for will start to come around for you.


5:42 am on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

Interesting, you just named my formula.

Aside from healthy eating and fitness, I do agree that a "non-fiction" book should be read at least once a day. You won't believe how many ideas I got for Adsense by reading a book about Lewis and Clark. But aside from that, a good book clears your mind for a bit and puts things in perspective, especially historical topics, imho.


5:23 pm on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

I've followed all of the your threads rfung, but this is my first time posting. When I saw the devastation that took place in New Orleans and all along the Gulf Coast this hurricane season, I found that one of the fundamental reasons you can strive to earn as much money as you can is so that you can help others in need.

I had the opportunity to work with "evacuatees" from New Orleans when they relocated to New York and it was heart breaking to see how losing literally everything you own effects some people emotionally, destroying their self esteem and feelings of self worth.

I was so happy that I was able to take the excess money I make from affiliate marketing and give it to charities like the Red Cross and Habitat for Humanity and help others who are not as lucky as I am to have found a way to make money and live the life of Riley at the same time. Perhaps that can be your goal. Make as much money as you can so you can give it away to the less fortunate.


5:53 pm on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

It's easy to give to charity and to the poor when you are making extra income. I wonder how many of us here are giving to the poor despite the fact that we may need the money. I gave to Katrina and Africa even though I was at one point barely getting by.

It's not about "when I get the excess money", it's about, what can you do NOW?


6:54 pm on Dec 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

Rfung, I can help... but I need to see a copy of that $500/day plan first :)

Seriously, perhaps you should treat yourself to something nice to reward yourself for the past hard work. Make it commesurate with your earnings -- first-class dinner out with friends (you pay the bill!), nice vacation, nice car, etc.

... and then -- get to work!


1:38 am on Dec 2, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

rfung, I was going to say what Webdiva did - that I'd read your threads but hadn't posted before. Thought about it a few seconds and realized I had, in "What better jobs are there than being an AM'er?" I answered something like "How about cancer research?" and said I daydreamed sometimes that it would be nice to not have to go into the office for my "day job," but that I'd miss the sense of doing something that made a difference.

It's not like I'm standing over a lab bench all day - I'm at the computer. I could do the same kind of work I'm doing in a university research department and do it for a big business, or spend the extra 60 hours a week building affiliate sites, and make a heckuva lot more money. But I wouldn't get the same satisfaction out of it. Working with other people who feel the same way is a bonus.

I don't have an answer for you, but I'm very glad (for you!) that you're asking the question. A lot of people don't get there til they're a lot older than you are, then suddenly wake up and wonder what they've done with their lives.

My only advice is to not worry about forcing a decision. Keep body and soul together, keep traveling if that's what fulfills you right now, but if you keep your eyes, ears, and heart open, sometime when you least expect it -- you'll discover what you were meant to do. It might be doing exactly what you're doing, but doing it to support a family or something else you believe in. It might be using the skills you've learned in a different way. It might be anything. But if you approach the question honestly, you'll find the answer -- or, more likely, the answer will find you.


4:55 pm on Dec 7, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

I've been following rfung's thread for a while.. when it was still $100/day... and when it was $300/day... that was back then - about 10 months to a year have passed... it was pretty much the thread that made me dream what if I can make $1000/day... won't that be great.... I can do a lot of things and maybe I can relax a bit.... and what will I do next?

well let's just say $1000/day is not very hard nowadays and I still feel motivated... hmmm.. it could be that I have some goals in mind... some initially were mostly self serving.. but now I've decided to help my immediate family out... upgrade my parent's run down car to a new one... get a new place for them.. etc... this seems to motivate me to produce more... I've also decided to help my brother buy medicine for a place where he volunteers as a fireman to distribute this to children with diseases... it feels good to be able to help.. :)


7:55 pm on Dec 7, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

>>>deep down I'm still struggling to find the one thing to give life purpose

You could donate to a charity - and then go out and *see* what that money did for the cause and the people it benefits (i.e. if you donate to a children's cancer foundation, go out and meet the kids it supports). It may give you some motivation to make more money so that some of it can continue helping the people you've met and gotten involved with.


10:40 pm on Dec 7, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

If you are struggling to find what gives life purpose, have a couple kids.

Your whole world changes because now you are there for them and them only. Nothing else seems to matter as long as your kids are happy and healthy. I've got two now and I want to have more. My purpose in life is make sure they have the best of the best in everything, including time with daddy.

THere is nothing more fulfilling then providing for your kids.


1:25 am on Dec 8, 2005 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

Kids do help with motivation, but I would not recommend going out and having them just for motivation. ;)

I have found that letting myself follow my whimsy helps a good deal with keeping myself motivated. The fact of the mater is that I could make far more than I do if I could just force my lazy butt to do nothing but crank out ads all day. But, I have found that when I am bored, I will cheat my boss now of productive time as when the boss was someone other than myself.

I make enough from the "money makers" to keep my family safe and happy with out ever having to worry about any bill. My whimsies allow me to diversify and have worked a long way towards a long term money generating goal. More importantly, they keep me interested. They can act as a reward. "If I put up 10 new ads this hour, I will get to play with the new site." They keep this fun and that is what is motivating.


2:48 am on Dec 9, 2005 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member

Well I was taught that life was about collecting things and money. The one with the most toys wins. But it seems everything you buy just deteriorates over time, as does your body. The final goal is death, but we don't seem to spend any time preparing for it.

Look around, how much meaningless junk do you have that you don't need? Well collecting junk is good for the ecomonmy. What would you want to do if you only had a month left to live? Could be you only have a day left, you just never know.

Since you have been traveling you must have met a lot of people, learned a lot of things. You can always write a book.

This 49 message thread spans 2 pages: 49

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