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Its hard for me to imagine why there should be any question raised about including such a service on a website. Its much like a table of contents in a book, ie like a synopsis of each chapter.
If this will ban you, then we're really in trouble. So, I'm a little baffled as to why there should even be a question. So far, there's been no trouble from AV. But it seems there's always some doubt and concern lurking somewhere even though you're scrupulous about doing things right.
Site map as spam? This just doesn't register with me. On a legit site map page, I would put the words 'site map and sitemap' in the title, heading, and url in order to make sure the spider gets the message. If alta has a problem with sitemaps, it is going to be on pages that don't identify themselves as such.