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Friday Funnies

         

LifeinAsia

4:18 pm on Jun 24, 2022 (gmt 0)

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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

lucy24

5:13 pm on Jun 24, 2022 (gmt 0)

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Ooh, ooh, is it Old Person Week? My favorite genre.

The old lady went to the family doctor to lament that her husband was becoming impotent. [This joke predates C*** and V*** and so on.]
The doctor said, “Well, I’m afraid these things do come with age. How old are you now?”
“I’m 78 and my husband’s 82.”
“And when did you start noticing the problem?”
“Last night and this morning.”

Jonesy

4:06 pm on Jun 25, 2022 (gmt 0)

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I guess it's "Old Person Week".

When I was a boy we had to wait for lightning to start the cook fire.

If it wasn't for "Senior Moments", I wouldn't have any moments at all.

I'm at the age where I don't have to sugarcoat what I say.

I need to be 16 again!
I know what to do this time.

Brett_Tabke

3:07 pm on Jun 26, 2022 (gmt 0)

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Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."