Friday Funnies 7/3

[tangor]

I'll be a bit busy on Friday, so posting a tad early. These are the DUMBEST jokes I can think of:

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.

What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody knows.

Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts.

I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

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Fortunately (or not!) I have a zillion of these (my inner Henny Youngman), Please, don't encourage me. I really do have a zillion!

Have a great Friday, a better weekend, and many new exciting adventures in the week to come.

[tangor]

Meeting ended early... so here's one more for Friday:

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The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife .

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered

'THE DENTURES.'

[lucy24]

I am very sorry to say that I laughed.

[tangor]

Better than crying!

Meanwhile...

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.