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"...when they notice a big dog laying on a lawn licking himself."
This really needs to be specific, anatomically, to be humorous.
In polite company, I would probably have used...
"...when they notice a big dog laying on a lawn licking it's genitalia."
"After all these years the wife and I still hold hands in public.
If I let go she shops.
alternatively, to give a more balanced view...
"After all these years the wife and I still hold hands in public.
If she lets go I philander.
where you see "economic family humor",
I see male chauvinism in need of exposure
Male philandering, I would assume, is a far
more likely cause of "family destruction"
than female shopping.
