A rather bad SEO dies and meets Matt Cutts in a room with three doors. MC explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors optimising your site. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the SEO opened the first door and saw a room full of SEOs waving their arms wildly in futile attempts to beat off myriad spambots, scrapers, and malware. Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of SEOs weeping softly "but I set hreflang, I did, I did" as counterpoint to a Zombie host babbling every dialect the world has ever known. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee. "Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded in to get something to drink while MC closed the door.
A few minutes later the door opened, MC stuck his head in and said, "first: I'd like to again remind everyone that results throttling is an illusionary artifact; secondly: OK, break's over; everybody back on your heads
And, so, to my punchline:
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
p.s. it's a joke, Brett, a joke!
