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Something for the Weekend, Sir? A friend of mine had his wife stolen three times this week. The first two times, they gave her back within hours. On the third occasion, however, they seemed determined to hold on to her for a month.
This is the risk you take if you insist on uploading your wife to YouTube.
I’d better explain. Be prepared for a sorry tale of sex, lies, videotape and attempted copyright theft. Are you sitting comfortably? No, I mean it: are you feeling relaxed? Reeeeaaally relaaaxed? Lean back and let Doctor D administer the treatment. The room is warm, the furnishings are soft and you feel all cosy. A joss-stick is fizzling away in the corner. Here, let me ease you down with a shoulder rub. And might I gently massage your forehead?
It’s like this. YouTube provides recognised copyright owners with a tool called Content ID that helps them profile their own content and hunt for unauthorised copies across the YouTube servers. When it finds a match, it flags a message on the user’s YouTube channel to say that it has identified copyright content in the allegedly offending video, giving the user the opportunity to respond or take the video down.