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Friday Funny - How the Internet Got Started

Found on a rail discussion list

   
2:40 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the nam e of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham tho ught long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, oreBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.
3:41 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator lawman is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



That's a long way to go for no punch line
5:12 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member tangor is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 5+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Existed previously. :)

[webmasterworld.com...]
5:21 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator incredibill is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



There goes a few minutes of my life I'll never get back.
7:33 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Wow, tough room......peeks at room title and charter....you do know where you are, right?
8:49 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator lawman is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Yep. Took a peek at your title. I'm tempted to change it to "Friday Mildly Amusing". :)
9:43 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator incredibill is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



I was thinking more "Friday not-so-Funny" but thought that was a tad mean ;)
10:14 pm on Nov 11, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member lucy24 is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time Top Contributors Of The Month



That's a long way to go for no punch line


Punch line: I outlived the sons of bitches.
Punch line: You're in an airplane.*
Punch line: Having reduced the problem to a previously solved one, the mathematician went back to bed.
Punch line: Believe in it? Heck, I've actually seen it done!


* Yes, yes, OK, but functionally it's the punchline.
1:38 am on Nov 12, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator incredibill is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Maybe I can salvage this with an actual joke...

NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
Cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk
Calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
Derelicts intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She
looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual
about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status. Curiosity getting the better of her, She said, 'Yes you are correct . But
how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.
1:47 am on Nov 12, 2011 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member tangor is a WebmasterWorld Top Contributor of All Time 5+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Willing to help out:

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She frantic, calls out a May Day

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"The is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio, "Repeat after me: Our Father... Who art in Heaven..."