Early Sunday Funnies

Humor

[tangor]

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Gene, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GENE: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GENE: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Dave, why do you always get so dirty?
DAVE: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

- - -

Some of the above reminds me of commentary here regarding the G and Panda and all the fallout... Some things are just OBVIOUS!

[Habtom]

It's the same dog.

It sure is.

[LifeinAsia]

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

The answer actually depends on your age group-
College students: A professor.
Other adults: A politician.
Husbands: My wife.

[johnhh]

Nearly Sunday Here ..

Lecturer walks into a lecture theatre and says "Good Morning"

In a university : students ignore the remark

In a polytechnic: students write it down

In a teacher training college : Students break up into groups to discuss it

note: aimed at UK readers of a certain age - but I am sure you have your own college funnies ?

[rocknbil]

English lit 101: Johnathan, are you ignorant or apathetic?

Johnathan: "I don't know and I don't care."

This one's been around the 'net a few rounds, but brings a grin nonetheless . . .

Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, asked during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ of the human body which, under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define those conditions?"

Miss Smythe gasped, then said coolly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you, my parents will hear of this," and sat down red-faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question.

Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct Miss Johnson." said Mr. Perkins.

"And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you. ONE, you have not studied your lesson. TWO, you have a dirty mind. And THREE, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."