Moving to a new city

Rebooting life :)

[Habtom]

I've recently started a mission to completely change my lifestyle and sort out a new higher purpose in life .... and I've successfully done that to some extent.

I am moving to a different city and country in December and would love to hear how one can meet new people with similar interests (some newly-found) in life.

I've so far joined a few meetup groups of the city and would like to know if there is anything else one can do.

What was your experience of moving to a new city/country? How were you able to acquire new friendships and business partners?

[Jane_Doe]

The people that I know that have the most friends join stuff like hobby and activity clubs (books, outdoor activities, hiking, camping, yacht, rock collecting, canoeing, art, quilting, bridge), environmental groups, civic groups (Rotary, Chamber of Commerce, Lions Club, business networking), and church.

I've been to a few meet up groups but they tend to be rather transitory. Most of the meet up groups don't seem to last too long compared to established clubs and groups with by-laws and board of directors.

When I quit corporate work I made new friends mostly through clubs and activity groups.

Good luck on your move.

[Habtom]

Thanks Jane ... You listed out a few things which I can see myself doing - book clubs, camping, business networking and church. I will explore for a few more kind of clubs I can join and stick with few.

Where I live now, at most conferences I attend, there is always someone I know who wants me to meet someone else ... but that is not going to be an option in a new city.

[piatkow]

The trouble with meet up groups is that people meet up and go away. A guy I know of running gigs in London targetted that market - sell out events for 12 months, the last one that I saw (I was working at another gig in the same building) was just ticking over.

The important thing is to get involved with things for their own sake not as a means to an end. Otherwise you just come over as pushy or (in the case of potential romantic encounters) desparate.

[Habtom]

Alright, I see your point ... my main goal should not be meeting people ... but rather attend events and go through activities I enjoy and if that leads to new opportunities, well and good ... if not I have nothing much to lose.

I had to put it in my own words ... but I hope that is what you meant. :)

[rocknbil]

YES and still am [webmasterworld.com].

Coming up on a month and a half, been here with nothing but a bike, clothes, and the job, in 12 days I get to fly back to drive wife and belongings here. It's both terrifying and exhilarating, any answers you get here are kind of moot - the not knowing and exploration is part of the excitement. :-)

I've worked in pretty well at the local community center, which has two BB courts, 4 pools, exercise rooms, ice skating rink and more (it's huge) for $25/month. The other is karaoke, lots of nice people at some of the hole-in-the-wall dives, this is where you meet the "real people" of the community, but that's just me.

You will love it. Though it's come at a great sacrifice, vast deserts of loneliness at times, it was the best choice I ever made.

[weeks]

Remember first impressions count for a lot. I know that is hokey advice, but it's really true. So, be kind to everyone you meet, even those who seem at first not to share your interests. Your reputation, alas, will be established VERY quickly in your new home. That's not fair, but that's the way it is, so you want be careful.

So, if you go to two meeting on rock climbing and you're really not into rock climbing, you will nevertheless get labeled at "that new rock climbing guy." Or that "new whatever guy." Annoying if you're really not into it.

You're going to want to tell people all about yourself. Don't. It will be very hard, but let them talk and share little at first. Ask open ended questions. (Questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no.) The new folks will love you for that. The established folks love to explain what they are doing to the new guy, reinventing themselves just a little. This is key--shut up and listen.

(If you let them, people will slip up pretty quickly and tell you the truth about everything. Then trust your gut--not your head--on where and who to spend your time with.)

[Habtom]

the not knowing and exploration is part of the excitement. :-)

Indeed it is, and thanks for reminding me that.

@weeks ... Nice thoughts as always

You're going to want to tell people all about yourself. Don't.

Noted :)

[Habtom]

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