1996 Bumper Stickers

Usually wait until Sunday to post jokes... but I'll be out of pocket then..

[tangor]

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.
   No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
   My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student.
    Cats Flattened While You Watch.
 I May Be Fat but You're Ugly - and I Can Lose Weight.
    Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS
    Dare to keep the CIA off Drugs.
      Quit Sniveling.
    Stupid People Shouldn't Breed.
  Kissing a Smoker is like Licking an Ashtray
     Happiness is Coming.
    Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?
   Forget the Whales, Save the Cowboy.
 Eat American Lamb. Ten Million Coyotes Can't be Wrong.
  I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You.
      Blood Sun Earth
  Old Skiers Never Die. They Just go Downhill.
Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
      Disarm Rapists
 Commit Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty
   Happiness is the Ball in the Fairway.
   Have You Hugged Your Stockbroker Today?
    My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
  My Mother was a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
    I brake for Hallucinations.
   Illiterate? Call This Number for Help...
    Welcome to Colorado - Now Go Home
  If You Love Jesus Tithe - Any Fool Can Honk
     I'm OK. You're So-So.
   Will Rogers Never Met Howard Cosell.
Smile - Its The Second Best Thing you can do with Your Lips.
   "Telling an Old Person He's Useless
    Is Abortion on the Other End"
    Scixelsyd Etinu. [Read Backwards]
  Use Caution in Passing - Driver Chewing Tobacco
 If Men Could Have Abortions, It Would Be a Sacrament
   Ask First If The Animal Wants To Be Killed
  Your Mother's Choice was Pro-Life. [Waah...]
   Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can
 If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range
 This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random
      Black Holes Suck.

[grandpa]

Don't follow me I'm lost
Visualize Whirled Peas
God is Coming and is She Pissed
Honk if you are Elvis
People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do
I love animals They're delicious
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you're a jerk
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once
Gravity - It's not just a good idea. It's the law
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs
What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?
Your village called. They are looking for their idiot
If at first you don't succeed, screw it

[rocknbil]

LOL . . I have seen at least TWO of the above in the last week. More memorable fodder,

Keep honking, I'm reloading.
A woman says "I do," that's the last thing she ever does.
Yes I do own the whole damn road.
I may be going slow, but I'm in front of you.
If you can read this, you're too close.
If you can read this, bite me.
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-****
Tweekers s**k.
My other car is a Mercedes.
My other car is a bike.
Baby on board. (ugh)
WARNING: Armed with Winnebago seeking missles.

And let's go WAAAAAAY back . . . .

Who in the hell is J.R.?

Brownie points for the fogies that can remember that one . . . .

[john_k]

Driver Carries No Cash (he's married)

[youfoundjake]

Back off, or I'll flip a booger on your windshield.
Unless you're a hemorriod, get off my ass.

[Brett_Tabke]

I brake for tail gaters.
Blinkers are not optional equipment.

60's flash back: Gas, Cash, or A*s - nobody rides for free.

[grandpa]

Who could forget this timeless classic:

Where's the Beef?

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
Inner Child in Trunk

[wyweb]

LOL.. love it!

[wyweb]

Welcome to Colorado - Now Go Home

A variation I saw often in Texas back in the 80's:

"Welcome to Texas - Now get the f*** out"

And they were dead serious.

[Rugles]

60's flash back: Gas, Cash, or A*s - nobody rides for free.

I remember a different version of this one. The middle word was not "cash".

[rocknbil]

Yeah, Brett's is actually the **70's** version. :-)

[Hoople]

Sh*t Happens

[Brett_Tabke]

>The middle word was not "cash".

depends on if you were east coast or west coast ;-)

[rocknbil]

Which reminds me . . . seen in Hollywood circa 1972 . . . . .

"My other car is a straw"

[akmac]

Idiots of the world ignite!
Friends don't let friends eat farmed fish.
For every animal you don't eat, I'll eat two.