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4:14 am on Jun 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?

What should one call a male ladybird?

If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
4:38 am on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?


My ex wife, also known as "sister of Satan."

Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?


Because dogs smell really bad and they don't care if you work hard, this is their nice way of saying you need a bath.

What should one call a male ladybird?


Politically correct.

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?


It's called "planned obsolescence."

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?


You can't? Really? <oops> . . . .
6:18 am on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?


Then they have to think of a new name for the airplane....
3:34 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?

So when the police pull you over for doing 105 and asks you if you know how fast you were going, you can say, "Yes."

Then they have to think of a new name for the airplane....

They already have one- anchor.
3:43 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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A dog is lying curled up licking his privates.

A man says to the dog's owner, I wish I could do that.

The dog owner replies, give him a biscuit, he will probably let you!
4:08 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Cheers rocknbil!
4:20 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?


When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?


I saw something that made me LOL at the grocery store the other day, a cat food claiming "NEW! FREE RANGE CHICKEN FLAVOR FOR BETTER TASTE".

Come on people, my cat was never going to catch a "free range chicken" in his life and wouldn't know it was organic if his 9th life depended on it.

Give cats what they really want, FREE RANGE MOUSE FLAVOR!
4:41 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Don't forget the chef prepared cat food. With all that fancy eatin', I might switch from Spam to Sheba.
5:02 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Or from prime rib to Purina.

They do make it look good.
5:08 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Ok So why are Soaps made with Natural Fruit Extracts and Fruit Juices with Artificial fruit flavoring ?
5:13 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why are products "NEW AND IMPROVED"?

It can't be IMPROVED if it's NEW!




But wait there's more, it's not sold in any store.

Don't order yet, just look what else you get...

If you order today, you get a Ginsu Knife and a Smokeless Ashtray!
5:37 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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... but wait that's not all. If you call within the next 20 minutes, we will double your order at no additional charge.
5:39 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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... but wait that's not all. For a limited time, we will include our revolutionary shoe horn absolutely FREE!

Call Now!
5:47 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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YOURS NOW FOR ONLY 12 EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.99!


If you're illiterate and see this message, call now for a reading assistance consultation.

For our deaf listeners, please turn up the volume so you don't miss this important message.
5:59 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why do trash can lids have "lift to open" printed on them?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

"Waiter, what's this in my soup?"
"I'm not sure, sir, I can't tell one bug from another."
6:16 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"

"I think it's the backstroke."
6:18 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"I sincerely apologize. That was supposed to go to the jerk at the next table."
6:43 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?


Dogs, the trick is getting them to tell you which they prefer. If they prefer one over another they assume it is because of better taste.

Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?


Dogs used for labor would disagree. Go to any working farm and you will find a dog "working like a dog", so to speak.

What should one call a male ladybird? What should one call a male ladybird?


Don't they are nothing but trouble trust me.

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?


It can be damaged. It has a good chance of surviving as much because of where it is stored in the plane, as what it is made of. Without the plane the black box isn't so tough.

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?


So that when you break the law you know to what extent.
7:55 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Next time I book a flight I'll ask to sit directly over the black box. Maybe they'll let me hold it.
7:59 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Next time I book a flight I'll ask to sit directly over the black box.

It's a wonder the airlines haven't thought to start charging a fee for that...
9:27 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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The waiter trips and spills the soup in his lap...
"EXCUSE ME WAITER! There's soup in my fly!"
10:36 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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sit directly over the black box


Following an accident, recovery of the black boxes is second in importance only to the rescue of survivors and recovery of human remains. In other words, you'll be the last person they locate.

And a black box is NOT black. It's either a bright red or orange, to make it more visible in the wreckage.
11:09 pm on June 18, 2010 (gmt 0)

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The black box question has always made me think...

If they made the entire plane from the same thickness of metal as the black box, would it not be damaged to the same extent.. The extra weight involved would lead to greater impact and more energy to do damage. Also.. what would you then construct the black box out of :)

Mack.
12:57 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Now that we've opened Pandora's Black Box:

a) a plane made like a black box would probably be too heavy to get off the ground

b) just because black boxes survive, doesn't mean people inside black boxes would. if you were in a black box when it crashed, you'ld probably be a big blob of jelly after impact anyway, but they'd find every bit of you in the black box. even if you're totally packed in big wads of bubble wrap the thrashing of your brain within your cranium alone could be fatal.


The waiter trips and lands in his lap...
"EXCUSE ME! There's a WAITER with soup in my fly!"
6:13 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why do hot things tend to go cold, and cold things tend to go hot ? Take your tea take your tea its getting cold, Eat icecream eat icecream it will melt ? lol (i know the physics answer but no science please, just fun :P)
6:20 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Cheers everyone! More comments please.....:)

If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

We know the speed of light alright, what is the speed of darkness?

Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

Can you get cornered in a round room?
6:27 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?


At that speed, Mach 1, You are going to be Too busy to think about radio ;) Unless youre sitting in a Concorde which unfortunately dont fly anymore, I love them!


If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?


You can't, or else Newton will have to come back to life and create another damn law/theory to make lives of millions of students worldwide miserable!


We know the speed of light alright, what is the speed of darkness?


Darkness = - Light
Speed of Darkness = Inverse (Speed Of Light)


Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?


Boy they dont sleep during flight Do they ? :P
6:30 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why Does every Murphy law have to apply on me and me alone ? loll, why not on others ? So frustrating, seems like he was my enemy lol
6:40 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Cheers Anyango!

Its better not to be able to ANYTHING for which Newton has to come back to life! :)
6:58 am on June 19, 2010 (gmt 0)

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Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

How do you know they sleeping? I think they're watching us.

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Absolutely. Getting cornered is simply a term for how easily you were conned into doing something you don't want to do - the shape of the room is irrelevant. And while I'm on a roll, getting conned is no real reason to start having background checks performed on all of your friends. And now for some butter to finish the roll.
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