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I used to be a UseNet flame warrior. Pretty good. I have the scorched asbestos suit to prove it. My implement of choice was "weaponized sarcasm."
One day, someone close to me was deeply hurt by a pretty random shot from another flame warrior, and it caused me to reevaluate my position. I hung up my tin hat and asbestos shorts and quit a couple of forums in which I had participated. I just dropped everything and walked away.
It was very difficult to not look back, but I didn't, and I barely think about those consuming threads anymore. I no longer have an urge to go back and see what "final words" were sent my way.
One reason that I joined WebmasterWorld was the premium this community places on courtesy. Sure, the rules and structure can get stifling and annoying, but I really like participating in a forum where I have yet to see the f--- word.
Nowadays, when I'm treated with the casual rudeness that has become de riguer in Internet communications, I generally send a courteous email to the offender (keeping it off the public grid, even if they were really bad), and ask them to consider being more polite, as I have a great deal to bring to their community, and they aren't doing themselves any favors by acting in a boorish manner. I remind them that they would not treat even a stranger in this manner to their face, and that they should remember that Internet personas have real humans behind them.
Most times, I'm treated as if I were completely nuts, which would be amusing, if it weren't so sad. If I had responded to their provocation with a public blast full of crazed rhetoric and venom, I would be considered "sane," and might even garner respect, eventually becoming a senior member of the community, treating others with casual disdain; especially n00bs. n00bs are "fair game."
I see this type of behavior most in the OSS communities. I use a lot of OSS in my work, and I have tried to participate in the communities a number of times. This was in a sincere effort to give back. I have a great deal of skill and experience, and can generally contribute a great deal.
In any case, I will continue to "play nice," even if it causes people to brand me a "nut."
I just think that it's extremely sad; that's all.
Oh, yeah, the couple of times when people have responded well to my "nutty" approach have worked out nicely for all involved. They probably still think I'm a whack job, but we get along and help each other out.
I have also concluded (for now) that ¦337 ]$ ¦>/\ NU ¦ll¦t3r4[y.
Though... I may change my mind again when I think about it some more.
Mind you I maintain all sorts of odd practices like writing complete sentences with semi-colons and the like when I send SMS to my friends.
the casual rudeness that has become de riguer in Internet communications
Well worth repeating.
The human element of the web was unleashed into anarchy, with few rules and little knowledge. The medium provided a place where rudeness would foster. The sense of privacy and secrecy led to the unleashing of insensitivity. The same thing happens in traffic. Ever see a bunch of happy motorists idling through the streets at 5 mph? Not since Henry Ford built his first cars.
I think the web will continue to evolve into a place where individual identities can and will be respected. It should be remembered that forums like this one have led the way. There is plenty of room to be expressive, and still be human about it.
Human interaction on the Internet really requires effort from people to import their humanity into their Web experience. As someone pointed out earlier, this also happens in traffic. The "safety" and isolation of the enclosed cab causes us to feel protected from the consequences of our actions and words. Seems to be a natural human trait. Propagandists use it to desensitize soldiers and citizens in conflicts.
Some of the most polite people I know are near-sociopaths with whom I try to have as little contact as possible, while I know a number of people who are foul-mouthed and crude, yet are warm-hearted, generous and thoughtful.
Nevertheless, there's a reason that diplomats always choose their words very carefully. When dealing with people you don't know, it's a good idea to start off polite and spare.
I have to remember that there are people on the other end of these wires/wireless. It does not seem to come naturally to me. If I don't hear from someone for a while, I often try to reach out to say hi. If people contact me, I try to respond, even if it is a short note.
In my experience, a non-response is incredibly rude. It is a denial of someone else's existence. A declaration that they are not even worth the few seconds that it takes to write out a reply.
Unless they're spammers or MRS MOBUTO SESE-SEKU, GOD BLESS YOU...;)
I have also seen people on Internet communities go to very great lengths to denigrate people by telling them to look up answers themselves; sometimes, quite creatively. This is pretty typical. The classic "Read the TOS" swat. In some cases, the "swatter" may spend a good hour composing a condescending and disrespectful post, when they could have simply answered the question in four lines, and won a friend and an ally.
Happens to me all the time. I am constantly barging into new communities and learning new stuff. It is almost amusing seeing some 20-something kid slap at me because I didn't spend an hour drilling into the messy, disorganized documentation on their site, and had the nerve to ask a question. I have a huge volume of varied experience, and there are a number of OSS projects that don't get my input because their principals have...underdeveloped...social skills.
The Internet has brought us the capability to expand our horizons to incredible distances. We can meet people in a few seconds that we would never have met in a lifetime. We can develop huge projects, and work intimately without ever meeting each other.
We can also get a great many people mad at us, and make huge public spectacles of ourselves. Typical Damoclean kitchen implement.
There is a lot of positive useful advice here on this forum
I love you guys - you're the best :)
I write sites for some pretty damn disadvantaged people. These are people who are often not even at a high school level of education. They can't get jobs that will teach them anything, and there is a statistically high occurrence of disability in this crowd.
In many cases, the services that my sites provide can save or significantly improve their lives. Serious stuff.
Basically, it is not hyperbole to say that mistakes in my designs can cause tremendous RL damage to the people my sites serve. Bad design can kill. For real. This isn't a Halo headshot. They ain't getting sent back to Home Base after this.
"Mistake" includes design that does not respect the intended audience that the site serves. It may work perfectly well for engineers, but engineers seldom use the sites I design.
When I ask people to tell me what troubles they have with my sites, it gets very difficult to extract useful information. For one thing, people often are ashamed that they have trouble. As I said, the crowd I serve is often undereducated and can have tremendous self-esteem issues. They don't want to tell me they have trouble, because it makes them feel stupid. Don Norman [jnd.org] wrote a book called "Things That Make Us Smart [jnd.org]," which addressed exactly this kind of thing.
There are a whole host of reasons why we can't do professional usability studies. A lot of our design experience comes from trial and error, with "error" being pretty horrifying at times.
We have to spend a great deal of time putting ourselves into our users' shoes; in both a knowledge/experience manner and an emotional/empathetic manner. For example, a user that has very bad technophobia can absolutely freak out if presented with a badly worded error message. They could shut down their computer rather than follow up on it or ask us for help.
For me, compassion and empathy are vital design skills, not just some etheric traits that I hear about in other people.
My experience is that it is something that we can all develop. You don't have to wear a sackcloth robe and a rope belt, and you don't have to become a pansy-sniffing fop. You just have to remember that you are not the only person on Earth with feelings and issues (and we ALL have issues).
You make some good points. I try, even when angry with some supplier or whatever, to remember that the person on the other end of the connection dealing with me at that moment is a *person* whatever the other rights and wrongs.
My (now ex-) business partner taught me to always try to sign on and off (eg with "Hi" and "Rgds") to help remember that it's a person that I'm communicating with, and to meet minimal 'diplomatic' standards. It vexes me to see people (one "near-sociopath" of my acquaintance springs to mind) put the sign-off in their automated signature for example.
Rgds
Damon
I used to be a UseNet flame warrior. Pretty good. I have the scorched asbestos suit to prove it.
I have had occassion now and then to need to resort to one of the usenet webmaster group. The people know their stuff, but geesh, the abuse one has to go through to get usable information.
I am just not willing to pay the dues needed to make the group usable.
Nice thing about WebmasterWorld is that it welcomes noobs and experienced folks alike, and treats all with respect.
