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Just Bought an All-Singing All-Dancing Toilet Seat!

No Need for Toilet Paper Anymore!

     
2:39 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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I have just bought an all-singing, all-dancing loo seat today for $800! It comes with the following functions

1. Rear Wash - it will wash your bum after you have #*$!ted. It uses a spray of soap and water.
2. Dryer - it drys your bum after it has been washed
3. Feminine - for females users, it sprays your "front passage"
4. Massage - the jet spray will spray your bum in many directions with many pulses of water
5. Enaema - it will spray a very strong jet directly into your anus so that it should act like an enamea!
6. Warm Seat - the seat will heat up so that your bum will not be exposed to a cold seat!
7. Soft close - the toilet cover will close softly so that it will not make a sound and disturb others.

The toilet seat is made by Hyundai, I assure you that I am not joking! I will take delivery of it sometime next week and hope to give you a "test report". I am looking forward to the day when I do not have to wipe my ass with toilet paper anymore!

2:51 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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I like that "warm seat" feature. Not quite so sure about the others.
2:56 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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5. Enaema - it will spray a very strong jet directly into your anus so that it should act like an enamea!

Let us know how accurate it is.

3:19 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Has this been made for the Middle Eastern market? In certain areas there is a tradition of washing rather than using paper.
3:48 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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now you can finally have an $800 <snip> :)

[edited by: lawman at 7:02 am (utc) on Oct. 30, 2007]

4:02 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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5. Enaema - it will spray a very strong jet directly into your anus so that it should act like an enamea!

But can you opt out of that particular feature? Or is that hard coded in there?

I'd actually like to have one of these but there are certain features that I don't need.. or want.

4:44 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Wonders never cease!...KF
4:49 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Just pre-warn guests before they use your new "features" People may come out of your bathroom feeling strangly violated lol.

Mack.

11:13 pm on Oct 27, 2007 (gmt 0)

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I wondered if it could be programed to play " THATS a Yankee Doodle Dandy"

or " Moon Over Miami" or " Rain Drops Keep Falling on The Head "

Can any one else think of some appropriate tunes?...KF

2:36 am on Oct 28, 2007 (gmt 0)

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The Japanese use toilets like these. Toilets that play tunes when you sit on them so noone can hear you take a pee...then washing features because many places do not use toilet paper...But that "jet" feature...ouch if it misses...
12:49 pm on Oct 28, 2007 (gmt 0)

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Feminine - for females users, it sprays your "front passage"

Is this an autodetect feature, and if so, does the price of the toilet seat include psychological counseling when it gets it wrong (especially for men that come from supermans home town).

1:06 pm on Oct 29, 2007 (gmt 0)

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I believe that this product started in Japan, and is used in many public toilets in order to save toilet paper.

Yes, I am told that it plays music but I do not know the selection.

There are different models available, but the one with the masssage and enaema function costs $250 more. The enaema function is supposed to be good for piles sufferers!

Since we spend so much of out lives having a #*$!, we might as well do it in style!

I bought this on impulse after This horrible PR update when 200 of my sites were downgraded. Conicentally, PR is the medical term for per rectum (i.e. the doctor would stick his finger up a patient's anus to look for rectal cancers)

 

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