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As I take a laid-back approach to work (the work hard for a while, rest hard for a while model), I am wondering how that can work with a newborn.
Would staff be a help or a hiderance, depending upon their contract and their disposition?
If I had hired help to look after the newborn, how much time is realistically needed? Live-in? Working hours? Half days?
I'm a fairly modern person in terms of working practices and have no problem with most working environments and systems so long as the work gets done.
On the one hand it makes sense to have hired help for the newborn for all working hours, but on the other hand, work and child-raising have been combined in cottage industries for time immemorial and the work I do is, like most forum readers here, almost infinitely flexible.
Please give me all your advice, discouragement, encouragement, etc.
However
Being at home all the time, it's very easy to be distracted and spending your day with the bub rather than letting the nanny do her thing -- you really need to discipline yourself so that both you and your nanny are able to perform workwise.
Oh and I'd say no to asking staff employed to do other things to help look after bubster.
I have an office on the thrid level of my house that is seperate from everything but I still am going to work out of the house at the office a few days a week now.
I think when I seperate work from home life I enjoy BOTH more in the end.
Of course, when my son turns 2 I am going to teach him some basic SEO stuff so he can pull his own weight a bit :)
I have a 3 week old bébé slung to my front as I type this. (babywebwitch, born April 18)
I will offer two more truthisms:
1) though you can't quite get prepared, you *can* get equipped (diaper buckets, baby clothes, vibrating bouncy chair, etc). borrow stuff from parents with older kids.
2) ask breeders for parenting advice -- and you'll get it. (as this thread illustrates)
I have to cut this short as I need to run and get my son from school - hehe.
You're in for the ride of your life, enjoy when you can and survive when that's too much too hope for. Read all the suggestions/examples here and remember that they are all exactly correct....for them. Each of us are so unique as are our little ones that there is no one right answer - or even a dozen! Plan to not get much done early on and find what works for you and the family. And don't forget to let us know how it worked out for you.
Girls easy? Boys easy? --- Not that I've seen!
[edited by: WallyBob at 9:07 pm (utc) on May 11, 2007]
As such, the baby was "glued" to me almost all day and night, that is the type of bond it created for us. I suppose that could be seen as a liability for some, but it was a great blessing for me to bond with him in that way, and he healed much better and faster, as did I. As you can guess with surgeries of that magnitude, I did not work for a number of years. He was left with a choking problem, so I could not leave him in care of another and I had to step up when the issue arose, so child care wasn't an option for us. When he was completely recovered, then came the teething, then the weaning, then mobility, so things never really "slow down".
My boys are into the early twenties and are still l here along with their friends making plenty of noise, plenty of messes for me to clean up, and still have a hard time respecting that I work from home. There is a reason why middle aged people are so dang tired all the time! I don't mean that to sound negative in any way. I've enjoyed my kids thoroughly, inconveniences, emergencies, puberty...the whole nine yards, but raising kids is exhausting work, even when they are grown and still at home.
Babies are very unpredictable, so be ready for a lot of interruptions, noise, tears and giggles and messes. I hope you don't do a lot of phone work :)
I'm sure in a few months, you will marvel in your multitasking improvements!
By the way.....Happy Mother's Day everyone.
My advice before you begin... "Really.. don't do it!" Not the marriage thing, that can be reversed. The kid thing because they take over and end up sucking the life out of you and there's no escape.
Seriously.... DON'T DO IT!
I've done both aspects. When I started out, I had one child with special needs and early on in my career as a degenerate affiliate, I had my second child. I was running the household, taking care of the kids and working all hours of the day and night. Three or four hours of sleep was common and I rarely if ever had any time for myself. I finally got a housecleaning service, but even that only helped out a small amount. Then I got pregnant with my third child, subsequently got divorced when he was a few months old and when he was about ten months old, I was forced by certain circumstances to hire a nanny. Best thing I ever did.
It is now almost three years later and I am on my second nanny (I'd still have the first, but moved 1100 miles and as much as I begged, she wouldn't move with me LOL). There are several reasons I chose to use a nanny... these reasons may not resonate with you, but they also might, so I'll list a short sample:
1. For *me* I felt like my kids were getting the short end of the stick always having to "wait a minute" for me to finish something. Having a nanny meant them having someone to devote their entire day to my kids. They get to do crafts, go on walks, play outside... all the things I don't have time to do day in and out.
2. Saying "one second honey, I'll get your milk in a minute, mommy is on the phone" doesn't sound good to clients or while trying to strong arm higher commissions out of an affiliate manager.
3. I get the same amount of work done post nanny in 8 hours that I used to get done sans nanny in 12 to 14. In reality, I have more time to *devote* to the kids with my full attention rather than "spot attention" throughout the day.
4. If I get a great idea at 10 p.m. and stay up until 4 a.m. working on it (we all have those moments) I can actually grab a nap during the day.
5. When I hired a nanny, I made sure to hire one that didn't mind light housework (laundry, dishes, cleaning up after the kids) and one that would take over grocery shopping duties. Even more items off my plate (and my youngest son loves helping with the dishes and folding laundry because he feels like a "big boy").
6. I am still here if they need me. I still kiss all the "boo boos" and still settle fights between the two youngest. I have the ability as well to take one of my children out for quality time while the others stay with the nanny as well.
7. Frankly, I'm happier. I love my career. And having the ability to focus on it not only allows me to raise three children as a single mom who have very good lives, but also allows me to feel happy and productive myself... which benefits the kids because I'm happier during my time with them too.
That said, I echo mb... do *not* ask employees to help with your child. You'll likely have a hard time finding a writer or a coder that will want to deal with that anyway. Hire someone who genuinely wants to take care of your kid and don't skimp on the pay to find one. I've been lucky on the nanny front in that regard. Good luck.
What I take away from the posts above can be summarised as follows:
On the positive side, I tend to work much better under time constraints... stops me thinking and planning so much in order to get things done faster.
I should have mentioned that I'm living in Malaysia so maternity leave is rather short and both childcare law and business culture is somewhat different.
Thank you for the comments regarding breast-feeding - I agree that it is important - and a brest pump method will be used. It's a shame that the mother can't be at home all the time, but that's just not yet possible for contractural reasons.
I will, if the moderators permit, update you all once the arrival is arrived.
(I have my daughter taking a nap here beside me on the sofa, and not detracting one bit from my productivity!)
Rgds
Damon
Get the best of both worlds.
--Kenn (stay at home dad with 7 month old)
