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I don't remember sadness on her birth day. I guess the sadness is about the "what's in it for me" part of the parent-child relationship. I'm sad because I will be missing her smile, her humor, her wit, the connection she offered between my adult world and a younger world. I will miss the daily chance to be witness to the continuum of her evolution, her maturing, her changing values and voice, her hairstyles, her clothing choices.
Until about now the moment of her departure has been, in no small part, about sadness. Up to about now I knew that at that moment of her arrival I will cry and that my impulse would be to turn away, to hide my tears. Pride and sadness. Tears and happiness.
I think know now that I will do my crying - the "about me" part - today, tonight.
College arrival day will, by my will, be about pride and happiness and confidence and all that other parental stuff. All that "we love you, we know you are ready for this" stuff.
I will choose to be in awe. I will be in awe, if only I could get this other stuff out of my system. ;)
We will say, in words and assuring parental faces and looks "You ARE ready for this and we know it."
"But are we ready?" she will ask, in words and looks, as she has asked several times already. She knows that question matters too. The time is right.
So much yet to learn.
How was your departure and arrival day?
[edited by: Webwork at 4:20 pm (utc) on Sep. 1, 2006]
That day is still in the dim future for me and my daughter, somehow distant but all too near. Pride that she's growing emotionally, intellectually, tinged by the awareness that every lesson she learns means that she's getting closer to being independent, and closer to the day you're experiencing now.
The point was driven home a few days ago, when she put on her JROTC dress greens, and the transformation from 'my daughter' to confident, young adult was undeniable.
My best to you and your daughter.
Parents are always talking about this milestone and that one. But, they always seem to absorb the shock and adapt. What gets me about children is how they are always changing and growing, so adapting to change is the one single thread in parenthood for all.
Life is about moving forward though.
We bring our children into this wonderful life/world, teach them the best that we can. We spend time creating moments that we cherish in our minds, and hopefuly in their minds as well.
When it is time, they move on from our lives, into a world of their own. One where they need to learn how to make choices in life, and the choices sometimes bring consquences to their lives that they will need to learn how to deal with on their own.
Life is a wonderful circle. Our parents raised us, we moved out, made choices in life, and now live with those choices, if they were good or not good. Then we raise our children, and send them out to choose their pathways in life. We hope that we have prepared them for anything that should come their way.
I have 2 left to leave the nest now. 17 year old is thinking about following his older brothers foot steps into the service. He will graduate this year, and I will cry buckets of tears.
And just an fyi, since my oldest has been out now for 5 years, I still cry because I miss him greatly. You never stop missing them. Well at least I don't. :(
