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I am mid way through writing my first best man speech - it's going quite well but thought I might ask to see if you have any tips for the speech - or experiences of good/bad ones that you remember
The wedding is next week so I am getting a little, erm, apprehensive...
apprehensive
Remember this : they're all drunk anyway - no-one will care too much. Relax and enjoy the occasion!
TJ
they're all drunk anyway
Big plus if you're not:))
Keep it short - Yes. No need to announce that you'll be brief; just be brief.
The bridesmaids have all been wonderful.
The only thing I really don't get is why my best fiend chose to marry this hag, when he has so many better offers!"
Okay, so you aren't prepared to say the last sentence now.....but, you will in the future.....so are you the "Best Man" or the "Mediocre Man", who likes to avoid conflict?
I have to agree with "keep it short", and I would like to add that you should not try to make it up as you go. At least review some ideas before hand.
The best one I've seen ended with:
"Always remember these three things: Never Lie, Cheat or Drink. But if you must Lie, lie in each other's arms. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, then drink with us because we love you."
I don't know who came up with it but I've heard it at least three times and it gets a few tears every time. Spread the cheese! It may score you points with the bride's maids!
Learning the speech off will only give a rehearsed feel. It should flow naturally which allows you to look at the audience instead of having your head down reading cards. This will also allow you to look at the groom when you are talking about him.
The other things for me are where you put your hands (i.e. not in your pockets) and the way you stand (i.e. not slouching).
"...so I did some research into the name; where we find Smith meaning 'honest, caring, committed'; [theatrical pause] and John - meaning 'not very'."
1 - Don't talk about ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends.
2 - Don't mention that she's expecting a baby.
3 - Don't get drunk yourself.
4 - Don't french kiss the bride during the speech.
5 - Don't french kiss the groom during the speech.
6 - Don't forget to wear antiperspirant.
Finally, don't worry about making a mistake. Research has shown that most people in the audience don't even remember minor slip ups during a speech, while those giving a speech think it's the end of the world.
Keep it short like his... Avoid humour.
Think of your tribute as a sincere nod to their happiness, not a head bobbing, hand waving thrill a minute roller coaster ride.
Do NOT write it ALL down. If you do, the odds are heavy you'll read it, to the pain of just about everyone in earshot.
DO write Key words down on one card, in large enough print to make seeing it easy. Use this memory jogger to keep you on track as you speak well of your friend.
Think of what you will say, and even practice it, just don't try to commit each sentence to memory, lest you find yourself stammering as you realize what you just said skipped something, but you can't recall what and that makes you fret and forget what should be next as well.
No mention of anything that lets the video of the speech get sold off to 'true and amazing confessions' or becomes the lead story on the nightly news.
Finally, everyone in the room already knows his momma thinks she ain't good nuf for her baby boy and that her daddy is one shot away from head knocking the Cheshire grin off that brat who'll go to bed with his baby girl in a few hours, so don't even go there. Wars have started over less. :)
Thanks for the advice - I have to say I'm not sure if I feel more or less relaxed having read this :)
My speech is coming along and I have tested is at 5 minutes - so I recon I'm on the right track.
Research has shown that most people in the audience don't even remember minor slip ups during a speech, while those giving a speech think it's the end of the world.
This could backfire.
Here are some tidbits that might help:
90% of it is preparation. If I know I am prepared, I'm not very nervous.
If you aren't walking around (and I guess for this type of thing you won't be), immediately PLANT your feet about shoulder-width apart. This will help avoid nervously shifting from one foot to another.
Look at people right in the face. For example, look right at the groom, then right at the bride, then right at a stranger, then another stranger, then some one else, etc. It just makes the whole thing seem so much more heart-felt.
Smile and be animated. If you are comfortable gesturing with your hands, do so. But regardless, make sure your hands have a home base - such as clasped in front of you at about waist level. (Or one hand on a raised glass and the other held at waist level) You don't want to be distracted by wondering what to do with your hands.
- If you can coordinate with other speakers, do. No one wants to hear the same anecdotes again & again...
- You don't have to make a toast, especially if all those before you have made toasts. Speak your piece and get out of the way.
