'Bot attack

Forum mess :(

[Casethejoint]

My forum was just spammed by a bot causing me a load of trouble clearing up. Part of the price of keeping an open forum, but nevertheless annoying.

Post your sickly comic methods for making less comfortable the life of the person who unleased the bot.

My own preferred recipe: some medieval stocks + a range of different coloured food dyes + a bucket of tennis balls + a tennis ball firing machine.

[grelmar]

Been through that a half dozen times in the past year on various forums.

If I ever lay my hands on a bot herder:

Keep his eyes pried open in front of a movie screen (think of that lovely scene from A Clockwork Orange), and force him to watch, un-interupted and without the benefit of alcohol or other pain killers, every single episode of The Lawrence Welk Show [imdb.com]. All 27 years worth. (1955-1982)

His brain will be permanently set to "Polka", and thereby useless as a bot herder for all eternity.

[JollyK]

Okay, grelmar is officially evil. heheh!

For some reason, the "let the punishment fit the crime" song ("My Object All Sublime") from Gilbert & Sullivan's "The Mikado" started running through my head.

There's nothing in there for spamming, but I decided that we can get rid of the verse about the amateur tenor, so instead of:

The amateur tenor whose vocal villainies all desire to shirk,
Shall during off-hours, exhibit his powers, to Madam Tussaud's waxwork!

We would have:

That shady bot herder whose spam & scam email with drugs and gambling is full,
shall during off hours, exhibit his powers by mailing it all to /dev/null.

Trust me: if you're a Gilbert & Sullivan fan, this is funny.

No, really, it is.

Hm.

Or maybe I shouldn't post before having my first cup of coffee...

JK

[Casethejoint]

heheh - my rage is slightly assuaged by your twisted minds.

>> the Lawrence Welk Show

The horror! The horror! You really are a sick puppy.

>> Or maybe I shouldn't post before having my first cup of coffee...

You mean there's actually a gap between your "last" and your "first"?

Ah, boh ...

[JollyK]

You mean there's actually a gap between your "last" and your "first"?

Sadly, I've found that, here in my dotage, I do indeed have to sleep occasionally.

The code I write makes a lot more sense that way, and I end up with far fewer comments like this:

/*
Huh ... no idea what this function is for but I'm
sure it's important. Or something. Or it seemed
important at 2am.
*/

:-)

JK

[Casethejoint]

Is a dotage some kind of smoking jacket?

[mecjfl]

what is your forum please pm me the link

[Casethejoint]

mecjfl -- what's your sinister torture for bot farmers then?

[mecjfl]

i would encourage them =)

[Casethejoint]

Ah, you say that now; but you'll be back in /Foo soon enough with a complaint about spam :-)

[JollyK]

Is a dotage some kind of smoking jacket?

Um ... I forget.

I think it's something like a large mango.

Because that was the style at the time.

Which reminds me: we should definitely consider legislation to confine all spammers inside a large mango.

JK

[Casethejoint]

>> legislation to confine all spammers inside a large mango.

Wasn't there something in the Patriot Act about that?

[DamonHD]

No, that was a moose, or maybe doting mice...

[Essex_boy]

Make them stay a weekend with my sisterin law.

[Casethejoint]

If she has food colouring, tennis balls, a mango, a smoking jacket, some profoundly dysfunctional legislation and, erm, a moose then I think we have our solution to spam. Get The Postmaster on the line!

Nice work chaps!