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thanks in advance
What you're trying to do is probably connect to the Flash object to "tell" it what to load. This is normally done by query string or Javascript to communicate with the Flash.
Other way the swf is gonna be too heavy
In any case, what you should do is load the video into your player on demand. That is, when the Flash object loads, it's probably 40-100K in size, maximum. Video is not loaded into it until the visitor activates the controls, or data is sent to it by a link.
I know the answer is a bit vague, but as I said there are many ways to do this, all pretty well covered in the help files depending on what approach you use.
here is the code
<object id="mytest" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,28,0" width="550" height="400" title="mymovie">
<param name="movie" value="swf/test.swf" />
<param name="quality" value="high" />
<embed name="mytest" src="swf/test.swf" quality="high" swliveconnect="true" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="550" height="400"></embed>
</object>