Forum Moderators: buckworks
I used to sell chocolate covered coffee beans on ebay. One lady left this comment in my feedback: "you are so yummy"
(I think--hope--she meant "they"... ;)
I ordered one, and got one.
Who has one arm?
I expected a set.
Next I ordered 2 and got 2.
Very strange.
Anyone got new ones?
"What is the dimensions of {product name}"
(after I sent him the dimensions)
"Place my order thanks"
After I tried to explain to him that he could order it through our site and that I could not just place the order without his information, he said this:
"You have a person speak French call me."
I live in the southern US... the only people around here who speak French are high school French teachers. I passed him off on my brother, who managed to understand him enough to sell quite a bit of stuff to the guy.
And of course, the never-ending emails from customers wanting a catalog. I purposely added text stating that we don't have one all over the website, incl. on the contact us page. :(
"Last updated XX-YY-ZZZZ, stock updated daily."
(Actually it's updated instantaneously as orders are placed, but figured this would be too complex.)
"Do you have [this item] in stock? It says last updated in October."
I have more. :-)
This customer was later charged with attempting to poison her ex.
Luckily I had smelled a rat (pun intended) and decided not to fill her order.
"I ordered Nov 1st, shipping to Canada and product was shipped November 2nd but took 3 weeks to get delivery, never order from again - slow shipping!"
those "uhh.. ok" type complaints that had absolutely nothing to do with you. (you know, sat in customs for 2 weeks) The very complaints as such that will drive you insane on ebay!
She was, because he really was a rat--a wifebeater and such. And like a rat, he was too tough to die, even after eating a cyanide sammich.
The lady before me had only two items. A birthday cake and a box of rat posion.
Hmmm...Dr. Watson what do you make of that?...KF
A birthday cake and a box of rat posion.
Hmmm...Dr. Watson what do you make of that?...KF
My favorites are the "I need a hotel room. What's the price?"
Right. No dates, no number of people, no preferred room type or level of hotel. Didn't even mention the country or city! Usually I just reply with a link to the booking engine.
But sometimes I am so tempted to respond with "actual" reservation information... "Your reservation for the Presidential Suite at the Ritz-Carlton in Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt, for Jan. 1st through Feb. 28th, has been booked, and your credit card has been charged. Due to the length of your reservation, your payment is non-refundable. Please enjoy your stay!"
It is obvious you have nothing to do but I am busy.
Fast responses can get customers into thinking the company has few orders, imho.
"I have seen items on your website that I am very interested in, however it concerns me that you have no phone number for contact....can you provide me with this information, so that I feel secure in ordering from your company? my email address is hgfhf67474^^%$@AOL.com"
replyed with the #, even though its right above the form.
2 minutes later:
Mail Delivery Problem:
Your mail to the following recipients could not be delivered because they are not accepting mail from info@domain.tld
The only place where the phone number is displayed is on the contact page, underneath the postal address.
complaint, from a customer living in rural Canada. He claims that another shipping company can ship to him in 3 days. Amazing, considering they can't get something to me from two states over in less than 5.
I live in rural Canada and there is a lot of variation in shipping times even when you're paying a premium. Ten days or two weeks is common, but I once had something arrive from New York by courier within 36 hours.
"I placed my order last week and I still haven't received it. Too slow to ship, will never order from again!"
Looked into it, order placed Friday night 10:27pm.
I wanted to email them back and beg them to please follow through and never order from us again.
Every so often I get an email that says, "I want to buy a widget. How much does it cost?"
That's like saying you want to buy a car, and asking for a price, without specifying which make or model you're looking for.
"I will be placing an order in the near future. Thanks"
"Am requesting advise."
"we'll see how this all goes"
"No comments"
"If you can do this for me I plan on buying lots of stuff from you."
It seems this a sign that they get what they want and will never be back again.
Riiiight. I'll take that bridge you have for sale while I'm at it.
Yeah.. i'm sure a church that doesn't have much money really needs that HD-DVD Player, the Expensive brand HDMI cable and an Onkyo Receiver plus a copy of Bourne Supremacy and some batteries.
i swear some customers don't think people are behind ecommerce stores sometimes. I must get a friend of friend or deal requests for 15% of my orders for some reason.
And i don't really know that many people to have this many friends of friends ;)
did a search on his full name: nothing
first name: nothing
last name: nothing
email address: nothing
partial email address: nothing
my response:Please check your credit card or paypal account to ensure you have completed the transaction as I searched for the email address back 1 year and your last name since September and still cannot find it.
I do need the name of person on the transaction OR the email address used for the transaction.
his response:
I ordered online through your web site. I looked at my bank account but couldn't tell if you took the money yet. I will go back online and re-order. Thanks for your help
He probably didn't finished the transaction.
Customer comes in the store with a full head of steam on!
Wants to know where his special order is. I remember him being in the store a couple of weeks ago. I get all flustered and start pawing through all the special orders files. When I cant find any order he tells me he has never seen such bad customer service. With that he storms out of the store.
Comes back in the next day and apologizes. Seems he had shopped several stores and had place the order else where! Just forgot where he had placed the order.
At least he had the courtsey to come back and apologize.
People are the funniest monkeys!...KF
True story
[edited by: Label_Lady at 6:02 am (utc) on Dec. 10, 2007]
"Your email says I ordered black and I want red, please change it!"
Come on, give me a break here. If an order number is to much to ask, you could tell me who you are or what product you ordered. As it is I hope you like your new black something or other.
Busy time, everyone is tied up on other lines, so I grab the phone to help out.
Phone order (small, of course), after spending ten minutes trying to understand what he wants (heavy foreign accent), and another ten trying to understand his credit card number, I now must get his name...
Keep in mind he has been very friendly and patient up to this point, despite our obvious problem communicating.
ME: Your name as it appears on the card?
HIM: Ispelu (said very quickly)
ME: I'm sorry, I didn't understand. Could you repeat your name?
HIM: Ispelu (louder)
ME: I'm sorry again. I didn't understand that. Could you re...
HIM: ISPELU (yells it loudly)
Finally, I figure it out - It's not a verbal threat. He's not giving me his name, he's saying " I spell you".
Thank goodness. We've now crossed that bridge. He can simply spell his name for me.
Unfortunately, his name has about 34 letters in it.
Him: A az inkh Afghanistan, K az inkh Kosovo, P az inkh Pakistan, etc.
(I still have a mark on the top of my desk which is an imprint of my forehead.)
