we - their ... or ... we - your

what works best to speak to your potential customer

[le_gber]

Hi All,

I just wanted to know what, based on your experience, works best? Is it:

Before widgeting on a widget, we make sure to know our custormer expectations

or

Before widgeting on your widget, we make sure to know your expectations?

Thanks
Leo

[rogerd]

le_gber, there's no right or wrong... but the second approach is more personal and, IMO, has a bit more impact. I'd go with that unless the tone of the site is quite formal and the second person isn't used elsewhere, in which case the first might fit better.

One other exception that would favor the first wording is a situation where the visitor won't be the actual purchaser/user. The only example that comes to mind is that of products/services for young children - but I'm sure there are other B2C and B2B situations where the same condition exists.

[mcguffin]

Leo,

In addition to considering questions of "you" and "their," you might also consider writing from your customer's perspective.

Before widgeting on your widget, we make sure to know your expectations.

This sentence focuses on the company's "we" rather than the customer's "you." Here are a few alternatives.

• "When you place your widget order, please tell us your expectations."
  
• "Your specifications guide how we widget your widget. So, when you place your order, please tell us about any special requirements or needs."

This style can work fairly well, because it speaks to the customer's needs. However, your voice needs to be genuine.

Finally, if you use this style, watch out for passive voice. It can creep in very easily.

[dgriesbeck]

"Your specifications guide how we widget your widget. So, when you place your order, please tell us about any special requirements or needs."

Regarding this issue, I have two concerns.
A. Wordiness. These two sentences above are far too long for a web audience if you really are expressing only one idea. Especially considering the author offered a shorter first alternative. Always take the shorter route. Your readers are going to get lost in long sentences.

B. The main issue here is your voice and your audience. I ran into a big issue with "you" recently in some non-web copy for a client, and it really opened my eyes. They had an issue with referring to "you" vs. "the user" in their documentation.

You have to make sure you know your audience and the style of your page when you're writing your content. If your page boasts of your skills, then the very first option posted is the way to go.

"Before widgeting on a widget, we make sure to know our custormer expectations."

However, I'd suggest "Before widgeting a widget, we understand our customers' expectations." or something to that effect. "Make sure" doesn't speak to the completeness of what you're doing for them.

If you are addressing how you'll meet their needs with your widgets, then keep the focus on them.

"Before widgeting on your widget, we make sure to know your expectations?" Or try this, "Before widegeting your widget, we we want to know your expectations." Then hook 'em with ..."so we can exceed them..." (just a suggestion.)

"I really also like the suggestion of mentioning "when you place your order" and things to that effect. It gives the reader a resolution or call to action.

It all depends on your reader and what you're trying to tell them.

Sorry, this is so long. Just feeling unnecessarily wordy today...and, like most copy, there's no RIGHT answer. Good luck!