Diplomacy and the art of good forum participation.

What skills do quality forum participants exhibit?

[Hawkgirl]

It strikes me that one of the greatest skills that you can have as a member of a discussion forum like WebmasterWorld is diplomacy. There are so many people here who are so very passionate and knowledgeable about the web that it isn't surprising that we sometimes end up with clashing opinions and arguments instead of more meaningful discourse.

If diplomacy means "tact and skill in dealing with people," then I'd like to flesh out this definition a little further. What kinds of skill are we talking about here?

It's easy to have a knee-jerk reaction in a thread and say, "Bah, you're wrong!"

It's way more productive (and more fun for me to read) when someone uses logic, negotiation, and consensus-building in conjunction with facts to make the point.

Are these the essential skills? Or are there more? What makes a good, educational discussion for you?

A few members that I like to read, just because they're very skilled at the art of forum discussion:
Webwork [webmasterworld.com]
Jane_Doe [webmasterworld.com]
trillianjedi [webmasterworld.com]
rogerd [webmasterworld.com]
tedster [webmasterworld.com]
shri [webmasterworld.com]

[viggen]

I am a moderator/admin myself, and i always think before i hit the reply button, "will i have regrets reading my post in a couple of weeks?"

I think diplomacy is one of the greatest skills a moderator can have, it can make the difference between a thread locked or an interesting discussion.

Shouldnt that thread be in Forum 103?

[SFReader]

> I am a moderator/admin myself, and i always think
> before i hit the reply button, "will i have regrets
> reading my post in a couple of weeks?"

That is why my email program (Eudora) is always set to que, rather than send.

[tedster]

I spent more than a few years slaving away in lower to middle management. If I wanted my ideas to get heard and tried out, then I needed to communicate well with upper management -- often the very people I thought were out of their minds.

The key I uncovered was to put relationship first, and then information comes second. Success in forums and in business altogether is generated by people working together, and not by disembodied data.

Some specific pointers I picked up before the web that apply powerfully to forums and online community:

1. A difference of opinion does not usually require a confrontation.
By clarifying hidden assumptions and overly broad language you
can often find agreement instead of squaring off.

2. It's OK to allow differences to just be different. You don't need
to prove anything, or "fix" anyone. Just communicate clearly --
and therefore, proofread everything. A forum is not a chatroom!

3. Even when someone says something that is flat-out wrong, it is
still the information that is wrong, and not the person. A response
that addresses the information rather than the person is invaluable
for keeping the peace and continuing the dialogue.

4. WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW?
Any person, including you, is just a being (whatever that is) appearing
here (wherever this is) and the whole affair of existing at all is a rather
mysterious thing -- so I feel we need to cut each other a whole lot of slack.

And then, once in a rare while, you need to take out a very big stick.

[Hawkgirl]

> Shouldnt that thread be in Forum 103?

Well, I am really interesting in WebmasterWorld specifically. Forum 103 [webmasterworld.com] has pretty broad discussions - I want to know what skills are people using here, and what skills, if any, are particular to WebmasterWorld.

[Webwork]

What skills do quality forum participants exhibit?

There are so many people that bring value to this place, people who regularly demonstrate the following:

• They are willing to share valuable knowledge, insight, and experience. They also share hard earned "practical" knowledge.
  
• They challenge us to think, to question assumptions, to see the future before it happens.
  
• They raise issues that often have impact across the spectrum of webmasters.
  
• Their posts often evidence an intent of generating something of value to others, not just to the poster him/herself.
  
• They often manage to speak volumes of truth in just a few words or sentences. Great posts need not be lengthy or wordy.
  
• They show respect and appreciation for the intelligence, experience and insights of others who post.
  
• They show restraint: Knowing when to walk away from the keyboard. I'm often impressed when people don't respond with sarcasm, don't go off, don't take the bait.
  
• They show a sense of humor, a wry or subversive wit.
  
• They have a knack for keeping a thread on topic.
  
• They have a friendly way about them. rogerd & tedster epitomize this.
  

These are a few things that come to mind from what I've witnessed about others. To the extent that any of us manage to hit a few of these marks any time we post it's a blessing for all of us.

I feel fortunate when something I post is of value to someone else. Something is fulfilled in me when I help, aide, or assist someone else. I don't know what or why. I just know it feels right. I don't always get it right, but I keep "putting it out there". ;0)