When Recruiters Call - What do You Say?

[accurate]

I keep getting calls from recruiters looking for SEO people. This never goes anywhere since recruiters;

1. Know sh*t about SEO, PPC, digital marketing, (or anything) and get confused by me talking about basics.
2. They have unreasonable requirements for the position.
3. The position doesn't pay enough for the crazy requirements.

I've tried to be polite in the past about this but it's gotten really annoying. I got two calls this week and it was just a waste of time. IMO if you are hiring for a certain tech industry why the f*ck don't you learn about it?

What do you say when these types of recruiters call? Do you give them straight answers or are you nice?

[TorontoBoy]

I have, unsuccessfully, worked as a recruiter, so have some experience. Very few recruiters are tech people, so don't know much about even the basics. The job descriptions come from the companies, a dog's breakfast of requirements from the hiring manager, then possibly "corrected" by HR, which may actually introduce errors/contradictions. The pay is set by the company, not by the recruiter.

When working with recruiters I always ask them to email me the job description first, so I can read it before we talk. This saves a lot of time, especially if the job has nothing to do with IT!

A couple of months ago I was inundated with headhunters from India, who not only did not know the subject but also did not know my city, the companies, or the country. What a waste of time.

[piatkow]

A classic HR "correction" was at a company that I worked at many years ago. They wanted somebody with some experience of a fairly recently released DBMS. HR added a standard requirement of 3 years experience for a product that had been on the market for 18 months.

In the end it took me an effort of will to avoid insulting recruiters, I had been a specialist in "product A" running on "platform B". Invariably they were offering me jobs as a specialist in "platform B". Trouble was that, eventually, I they might come up with something good. Actually I never had anything worthwhile offered on a cold call.

[lucy24]

You: How much?
Recruiter: {names dollar amount}
You: I’m sorry, I’m not looking at jobs paying less than {double whatever amount they named}

Recruiter: Pay is negotiable.
You: I can’t accept less than {name twice the highest salary, or hourly fee, you have ever been paid anywhere}

[tangor]

Hello?
(listen to yammer)
Kewl! Yeah, I'd like the job, but I have to check with my parole officer first.
(click!)

[TorontoBoy]

I would laugh harder, except I still feel a twinge of pain every time I recollect that time as a recruiter.

[keyplyr]

When Recruiters Call - What do You Say?

You can't afford me.

[piatkow]

I remember once as a very junior manager, my team needed expanding, The agency sent us CVs for people at my boss's level rather than junior to me.

One of the most intersting approaches that I had was from a recruiter who clearly didn't consider that I might actually know who the players in my sector were. He gave me a spec and location and told me that he wasn't allowed to reveal the client's name. As there was only one site with that software in that location it didn't exactly hide anything. I had met my counterpart several times at conferences so I then asked him if X was leaving or if I was to be her manager. I didn't hear any more and I suspect that like me, she was looking for a junior team member.

[JonathanEdmonton]

I would say NO thanks and bye!