I didn't wait several months to get the site back online, it took that long.
It appears he/she just used a forum package and when it crapped out he had no idea what to do.
Yes, I was using a packaged system and I didn't know what to do when the site was attacked. I hired 2 tech guys and switched to a custom script with 24/7 security that I now pay for on a monthly basis(no more freebie packaged deal). We had to move all the data, or at least what we could to the new system. It was expensive and time consuming. My site's been back for over a year now and they are still a thorn in my side.
usually stems from discussions getting out of hand, people getting insulted, mods having to delete threads, etc. Anything like that going on?
Oh yes, all that and more. When my site was first attacked, and I mean actively attacked, my first thought was to accuse these same people as the cause for the attack and resulting downtime. Right before this happened I had banned a member that was in their little click of friends. Frankly, I thought this person was mentally unstable and constantly trying to stir up trouble. I never came out and said it to them, but in the back of my mind I did and still do blame them for the attack, as least one of them anyway, their computer savvy "charismatic leader" and now proud owner of the .org version of my domain name(which, yes, I should have registered).
The downtime would have been enough to make me look elsewhere.
I knew many would join other forums during the down time, but I didn't expect them to band together and do what they did and continue to do. I'm not surprised their site has been so successful, I was after all the one who trained them and they modeled their site as nearly an exact replica of mine. Their site is on a freebie platform however and probably just a matter of time before something happens to it.
Thanks for the advice. I will try to ignore them and move on. For the past year I have felt betrayed, hurt and angry. It's time to get over it and now that I have a solid, secure foundation, keep working on improvements to make the site better.